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blackjackkent · 4 months ago

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NSFW Alphabet - Jaheira x Rasaad

This is a follow-up to my previous completion of this meme with Hector and Karlach. :D

Original meme: NSFW Alphabet

@astreamofstars expressed interest in a version of it for my rarepair extraordinaire, Jaheira and Rasaad, so here it is. :D This is primarily a lot of headcanon and ideas from our DM discussions, and also based on my only E-rated writing of them up to this point, which was this ask meme response from a few months ago.

I originally received this as a tag meme, so please consider yourself tagged if you see this and would like to do this meme for your own pairings! And feel free to tag me to read your responses. :)

18+ NSFW content under the cut. :D

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

The overall throughline theme in all these answers, you'll find, is that one of the things Jaheira and Rasaad have in common is that they're both overtly placid and reserved people who have a core of real animal ferocity in them. And their lovemaking reflects this, being a very intense and primal release compared to their day-to-day behavior.

Given this, their aftercare is tremendously soft and gentle. Rasaad in particular (paralleling his more day-to-day struggles between his principles and darker instincts) can have a significant "drop" if he's been particularly rough, and so they focus a lot on close contact, soothing touches, reassurance, and connection in the aftermath.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jaheira finds Rasaad's eyes extremely striking and expressive, and she likes his hands which are simultaneously dextrous and very strong depending on the moment. (Her dialogue in BG3 also makes it clear she's a fan of a good butt, and Rasaad does not fail in this regard either. ;) )

Rasaad's opinion... to quote Wash from Firefly: "I definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down! Her legs, and right where her legs meet her back. That - actually that whole area. That and - and above it." He's kind of a fan of the whole package and how it all moves together. He's often fascinated by watching her come out of wildshape and the way her whole body moves through that process.

C = Cum (Where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum?)

There are definitely a few parallels between my answers for Hector and Rasaad, and this is one of them; once again, the whole thing is very much about all of his normal restraint and discipline being ripped away and being reduced to instinct, which usually means coming inside her, which Jaheira has no objection to because she enjoys that ferocity and loss of control in him (and herself).

This is how Rion ends up accidentally happening, because they get lax about follow-up measures later in life, thinking that they're beyond the point where anything will come of it. :P

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory: a dirty secret of theirs)

To be honest, I think the two of them are pretty open with each other. It's really a hallmark of their relationship, over time, that given how emotionally buttoned-up and restrained they both are in other circumstances, with each other they find a safe place to be open without judgment.

There are times, particularly early in their relationship, where Jaheira's thoughts randomly flick to Khalid during intimate moments with Rasaad and it gets her emotions very jumbled and complicated. So I think that's probably something she struggles to reconcile at times although it gets easier as their relationship goes on.

Rasaad starts out being embarrassed or cautious about his "baser urges" and more primal, rough inclinations, and it takes a while for them to realize they're more on the same page about this than either expected. XD

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Jaheira is decidedly more experienced than Rasaad. Her upbringing as a druid was pretty matter-of-fact about sex and casual hookups for fun were a standard fact of life in her young adulthood. After getting together with Khalid, she lost her taste for casual sex, but had plenty of experience with him. So by the time she is with Rasaad she is a seasoned professional.

Rasaad, meanwhile, has basically no idea what he's doing. (His romance in BG2 has lines from the PC indicating his kissing technique is enthusiastic but unrefined and "sloppy". XD ) He operates quite a lot on instinct but responds well to Jaheira's guidance where necessary.

(If I had a nickel for every ship I've written recently about an emotionally repressed, sexually inexperienced monk falling in love with a more experienced woman with a history of terrible loss and trauma, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, and almost certainly says nothing about me personally. XD )

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

They tend to mix it up a lot, I think.

The one I picture them settling on most, though, is something that I can't find an official name for other than the incredibly unromantic term "prone bone". 😅 Jaheira on her stomach, Rasaad lying on top of her, pinning her down, arms around her. Sometimes a hand on her throat but without any pressure. (Fundamentally something like doggy style but more intimate.)

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Neither of them are particularly goofy people; I think the act itself is almost always very intense and focused and passionate. In the endorphin release afterwards, though, as they both start to relax, there will be moments of humor (more from Jaheira, though; Rasaad never quite gets the hang of jokes :P ).

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Gonna go ahead and headcanon, for no particular reason, that while Jaheira's head hair got much lighter from BG1 to BG2/3, some of her body hair maintained the dark auburn-brown color that she had in BG1, which makes for an interesting level of contrast that Rasaad finds quite appealing.

Rasaad, of course, shaves his head scrupulously, but his body hair matches his eyebrows (and eyes) and is very dark black. He has very thick chest hair and a dramatic treasure trail, leading to Jaheira occasionally joking that it's where he's hiding all the stuff that is supposed to be on his head.

(Mildly related - there's no official art that shows Khalid without a helmet but I headcanon him as having a head of very thick hair, and I think Jaheira was used to running her hands through it and gripping on during sex; it takes her a little while with Rasaad to get used to there being nothing to hang onto there. :P )

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Both of them would say that their moments together are intensely romantic. Any onlooker not inside their heads would say it seems very intense, passionate, rough, almost violent at times, and might have trouble identifying the romance in it.

This is because a lot of their (intimate) romance is rooted in the fact that with each other they are casting off all the restraint that marks their day-to-day, giving in to the animal nature that sits underneath their placidity. They are safe with each other, and free.

(As noted above, the aftercare is a lot softer and more overtly romantic. A lot of gentle touches and cuddling and talking about anything and everything.)

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

Jaheira's Harper responsibilities (especially after they return to Baldur's Gate for the long term) require her to occasionally travel separate from Rasaad for brief periods of time. The two of them are both much better at steamy love letters than they are at spur-of-the-moment dirty talk, and the correspondence exchanged between them during these periods is extremely spicy. Both of them use it for significant "inspiration" during these periods of separation, although both also consider it a poor substitute for the real thing. XD

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

As represented in the aforementioned ask meme fill, there is a distinct aspect of power play in their lovemaking, but in several different contrasting ways. It's a bit of a challenge to figure out how to describe this, but I see it as being Jaheira being emotionally dominant and Rasaad being physically dominant.

The overall flow of the encounter is entirely under Jaheira's control; she holds him back, restrains him, teases him, works both of them up to a breaking point. And then she lets the moment snap and he takes control and it all becomes very physical and fast and rough.

This originated out of Rasaad's initial lack of experience - he would try to get down to business more or less right away and Jaheira had to teach him the value of a good build-up. XD

I think they also involve pain in very mild ways in the process. Marking each other with bites or scratches, mostly. Rasaad might pull her hair or cover her mouth or (as mentioned above) put a hand on her throat or neck without pressure.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Jaheira very much prefers being out in nature for most things and this is no exception. Her favorite of their trysts have been when they're on the road together with no one around in any direction and can be out in the open (ideally under the moonlight, which Rasaad enjoys). It's not really about the thrill of being "in public" so much as being out in the world, away from civilization, focused only on each other.

Once they find an abandoned and rather overgrown Selunite shrine and make love there and both of them have really confused feelings about it and decide not to do it again, but the sex is fantastic. XD

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

Both of them respond very favorably to each other's power in battle or anything in their adventures that causes an adrenaline rush. Light, teasing touches are a good bet, as is the hint of teeth or biting within a kiss. Anything involving one gently restraining the other. ("Like cats," Jaheira comments once. "Hold us in place and at once we will hiss and scratch, all our fur standing on end.")

When Rasaad starts teaching Jaheira martial arts, the lessons regularly get cut off early. XD He also gives her very skillful massages (as he does for the PC in his BG2 romance line), and these can often lead to things getting more hot and heavy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Jaheira has told Rasaad about some druids who make use of wildshaping during sex (a la that Halsin sex scene). Both of them are pretty firmly in the "no thank you" camp on that, though. (However, Jaheira will sometimes wolf or panther up during snuggle times. XD )

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I see both of them as being more inclined to use their hands than their mouths.

Early in their relationship, Rasaad is not particularly skilled at it; he gets better over time with Jaheira's guidance, but much prefers using his mouth on the rest of her body while touching or fucking her.

Jaheira, once again, is much more practiced in this regard. Too practiced, really; Rasaad sometimes tends to get a little too excited too quick when she uses her mouth. XD (And who can blame him?)

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sensual in the leadup, very fast and rough in the act, sensual in the aftermath. Jaheira sometimes describes their foreplay as the fuse before an explosion.

There are exceptions to this, of course; sometimes they'll have softer, sweeter nights together, particularly if they've had a tiring or very emotional day. On these nights, they'll often spoon up on their sides together so he can hold her close. This becomes a lot more common during the very end of their relationship and especially when they do have sex while Jaheira is pregnant with Rion.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Given Jaheira's history with casual sex, I think she's more comfortable with the concept of a quickie than Rasaad is. Overall, though, they tend to focus on scenarios where they can take their time, given how much they like to focus on the buildup and giving in to the feelings.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

I think they experiment with a lot of different positions. Both of them are supremely fit and flexible which leads to a lot of room for creativity. It's not really particularly planned out in advance, though, so much as moving in the flow of the moment and finding things that feel good.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

As with Hector, Rasaad's stamina is very well-honed as a result of his life of monk training. He can last for quite a long time as long as he remains focused. (That said - Jaheira is very good at making him LOSE focus, and his discipline has a tendency to slip when she's involved.)

Fundamentally, though, as referenced elsewhere in these questions - the actual act itself is fairly quick and explosive. Their stamina is less relevant than their patience - which Rasaad, in moments of high emotion, distinctly lacks in comparison to Jaheira, which means that she can get him very worked up before she's ready to let him have his way with her.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Maybe not toys specifically, but Jaheira's magic definitely comes into play sometimes. Druid spells with potentially interesting uses include: Entangle (restraints), Gust (puffs of air on sensitive spots), Druidcraft ("tiny sensory effects"), Thorn Whip (maybe), Hold Person (restraints again), Water Breathing (underwater shenanigans), and Giant Insect (just kidding).

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

As referenced in a number of these answers, it is all about the teasing - mostly from Jaheira to Rasaad, both of them deeply enjoying the slow straining of their mutual self-control until it cracks. Occasionally the roles are reversed and it's Rasaad doing the teasing, but this is a lot less common and requires him to be in a very particular mood for it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Both of them are very vocal, a lot of crying out/moaning/etc. Jaheira has a tendency to start out trying to say things - terms of endearment, encouragement, expressions of desire - and then have the language start dissolving into inarticulate sounds as things get more intense. Rasaad growls/roars as he starts getting worked up and takes control - though at the moment of climax he gets abruptly very quiet and focused.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Given that they are both very vocal, Jaheira sometimes keeps a supply of scrolls of Silence on hand, which they have used during sex. They find that this helps keep them from being heard, but also completely mutes any sound between them as well; this wasn't really the intended effect but it adds an odd frisson that they both find they kind of like - the same sort of sensory deprivation as a blindfold but while still being able to look in each other's eyes.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Rasaad is very stocky, squared off, and muscular. He and Jaheira are almost exactly the same height - he's actually a hair or two shorter. His skin bears a lot of old scars, most of which go back to his life on the street prior to the monastery. The tattoo on his face reaches down his neck and all the way over one shoulder. He's well-endowed, but more in girth than length.

Jaheira is more slender and gives the appearance of being taller than she is. She's also deceptively strong relative to how muscular she looks. Even as a young woman, her skin has a somewhat weathered aspect to it from a life spent almost exclusively out in nature/adventuring; she's not quite as scarred but does have a few major ones, including the one on her face which came from being attacked by a bird of prey as a young druid. Her breasts are relatively small but a good solid handful. XD

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Average? Jaheira's is generally higher than Rasaad's, as he spent most of his life pretty closed off from the concept and isn't in the habit of thinking about it, whereas it was a more natural part of life for all of her adulthood. Neither of them tend to say no very often when the other wants to get them going, though. XD

Jaheira's decreases significantly when she becomes pregnant with Rion, as she grows very uncomfortable in her own body, which adds to the emotionally complex nature of the whole experience for her and frustrates her deeply. Rasaad tries to make up for it with a lot of snuggling and massages though.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As (again) mentioned above, the aftercare come-down is pretty significant for them so I think there's usually a lot of time spent afterwards in cuddling/touching/talking before falling asleep. It's a meditative, connecting period for both of them and they both value it too much to rush through it.

(The exception here is if they're both completely worn out from other stuff, in which case the sex itself is usually slower and gentler and they might have the habit of dropping off pretty fast, or even without disentangling from each other. XD )

#nsft #jaheira #rasaad #jaheira x rasaad #astreamofstars #i really thought i was gonna have time for more writing this week but that has not been the case XD #but i did have little bits of time so pieced this together instead :D #definitely got a kick out of writing this - some interesting ideas to further flesh out in the future i think :D #hope you enjoy! XD

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spacehostilityy · 1 year ago

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NNT Rewatch s2ep7-12 !!

(Still from my drafts! Just moved back to college yesterday and today and classes start tomorrow. Wish me luck! My schedule sucks this year so I'll need it lol)

man this is flying by!! but lucky me, the druids’ holy land arc is one of my favorites

King learning throughout this season that not only does he need the other Sins, but they need and love him is so sweet. I just love the character development they all go thru this season

draw him like one of your french girls ~~

I love that Matrona has purple eyes like Diane, the small details really make it

I actually NEED to know what Monspeet and Meliodas’s relationship was prior to his betrayal. “I can’t believe HE’S the one who sensed us” ?? Whats that about🤨 also zeldris and monspeet seem to have been in good terms, like were they all friends?

I don’t know how its possible, but Monspeet’s voice is even hotter in spanish

I love that despite galand not being able to lie, they still don’t believe his stories lol

KAJSDKWUDFL I forgot how shocked i was with the reveal that Merlin stole Mel’s power i just love the druid training arc sm

theyre so silly i love them

do we know why jenna and zaneri don’t have wings? are they just hidden with magic or something??

okie so apparently they’re just inhabiting human bodies and their real bodies had wings. found this on the wiki, do we know where the info comes from?

WAIT do jenna and zaneri know elizabeth?? Like KNOW her?

HAHAHA this part always destroys me

ngl the best thing seven deadly sins as an narrative does is portray the intense agony and trauma from mel and ellie’s curses

anyway... the fact that Meliodas and Zaratras were of equal rank when they met is kinda funny

the absolute horror on meliodas’s face when he hears liz is just PERFECT

liz is so slay she’s everything i want elizabeth liones to be

King: uhh hey jenna...🥺 what are you planning to have us do in there😓

Jenna: isnt it obvious??? 🤨 rigorous training 😤😤

the way they cut btwn scenes of meliodas abt to lose it and him and liz being happy is just so well done

I love that they were trying to get Meliodas to abandon his emotions to keep his rage in check and then when he actually has no emotions we find out that he’s straight up evil and much, MUCH worse than before lol

the tears pooling on their insanely pointy chins always gets me lol. but also mel just violently sobbing and then suddenly being fine. Mans has serious issues with repression that can def be drawn to his daddy issues

BAN/ZHIVAGO ARC😭😭😭 a few observations: Ban is very clearly influenced by Zhivago’s style, like the clothes are so similar, the fact that they sent Ban to Aberdeen prison and his favorite is Aberdeen ale makes me think he associates it with his dad, Zhivago was hot, Ban mirrors Zhivago’s words to him to Elaine, Zhivago tells Ban to never trust humans and the only humans he ends up trusting are Escanor and Jericho, zhivago has lived in misery about the deaths of his children for almost 40 years :(

idk why this is one of my fave arcs it’s literally just angst lol

gil and howzer as boyfriends. Discuss.

seeing gowther fight hand to hand is actually pretty cool, i had assumed he was weak like king but he can hold his own

how did king not clue in when galand literally opened with “Meliodas its been such a long time” like BABE CMON

BAN TELLING JERICHO SHE’S HIS WALLET 😭😭

meliodas just mocking king for his lack of wings is always funny. nothing like a dick joke to make you feel better after Zhivago’s death

I HAVE to do a meliodas self hatred/relationship to being a demon post, i have so many thots

I LOVE WHEN HE GOES TO SEE THE 10 COMMANDMENTS HES SO BADASS

monspeet shielding Derieri from the rocks with his cape🥺

melascula is so sassy i love her

estarossa is my deranged babygirl i love him. that fucking freak

I JUST KNOW TAIZOO AND THAT LITTLE TWINK ARE FUCKING

taizoo is a bottom.

meliodas somehow has 15 year old rizz. like the fucking blond boys.

(not so) fun fact: Elaine is my mom’s name so its a little weird

nakaba’s size kind seriously needs to be studied

ESCANORRRRRR

okie doke that’s it join us next time !!

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nochi-quinn · 2 years ago

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legend of vox machina season 2 episode 8: echo tree OR more like incel tree amirite

sam is the "nice melons" npc bc of course he is

imagine the twins using their old tricks to duck the guards and it doesn't work bc that was over a decade ago

hello Elf Guard Matt

"we're his children" (derogatory)

"I've known many people with money and titles. They are definitely not worth you."

VELORA

the twins are not immune to velora and neither am I

"your father will be pleased to see you" I doubt that

"if you'd notified me you'd be gracing us with your presence" has this man never heard of an emergency

"if you've come for my money - or my goats - I don't have any!" wilhand

"real vestments!" I don't know why that's so adorable to me but here we are

"did you forget to eat??" eating is one of the three things grog actually knows how to do

"hi, pop-pop. I fucked up" me every time I call my parents

"what can syngorn do for you?" directed very specifically at percy, fuck everybody else

oh I just realized he's probably shitty about keyleth too, since she's also a half-elf

a second-generation half-elf, at that

my partner: does he not realize vax is wearing deathwalker's ward me: he doesn't care, that's human shit

"do you have any idea the burden your sudden arrival has caused my family?" I regret to inform you that this is in fact also your family

and now we know what role vex played in this emotional abuse hellpit

"you might just wanna avert your eyes" she literally confirmed that grog's dick didn't get acided off for him

if that's how scanlan 'works both ends' I am terribly sorry for any of his partners

it took me three watches to realize he's whistling Pull My Beads Of Love

percy spending that whole meeting trying desperately to figure out which House he could give to Vex without Cass shanking him

"what does 'fuck you' mean?" little pitchers have big ears

(didn't they on-purpose teach her the word 'shit' in the campaign)

if we get byroden flashbacks are they gonna be exu-compliant

"somehow I feel like it hurt me more" relationships! with! abusive! parents! are! complicated!

ew, tree gunk

he finally called her stubby, I can die happy

I knew where they were going as soon as he said "stimulation"

big "not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'" energy

I enjoy Transition Frog

garmelie: don't submit to his voice vex, already extremely emotionally compromised: ✔✔

look, I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but I don't think I could look at something a child made for me with their own two tiny little hands and just casually break it in front of them

not even just my child. any child.

yeah, come to think of it, even vax doesn't Get It, bc he never wanted syldor's approval, or at least got over the want very quickly.

(fun fact, every time I type or say "syldor" I have to force myself not to say "isildur"

look at this. this is insane. I'm obsessed with this shot.

the feywild is using all of percy's black powder, he better hope victor survived.

I'm glad we got the "if I could pull the blood of him from my veins" line but it was so, so good when she was yelling it at her dad

vax now is not the time to ask keyleth to touch your butt

"dear broken vex'ahlia" if the word 'broken' is literally in your proposal there might be something fucked up about it mb

vex: my heart is someone else's percy: oh? do I know them?

incel tree saundor

"how do you fight a tree?" with a druid

I reluctantly admit him making the arrows out of his palm is pretty cool

I also love a good upside-down arrow shot

vex Jungle Sliding for her life

god I love keyleth so much

the way it springs open inside the stab wound is A+

mala: of course it survived, bc percy 100% expected her to stab a man with it

"he is who he's always been" "I know. and so am I." I am foaming at the mouth over this, at vex knowing she needs to work on parts of herself before she can actually confront her dad

there is SO MUCH nuance and middle ground between "still being actively abused" and "full no-contact" but it's more viscerally satisfying to show the Salt The Earth Behind You fight instead of the long, slow, painful work of attempting reconciliation

tl;dr reconciliation is a thing and I wish more stories used it even though it's complicated and subjective

"I usually hate the theater"

"how did that appear? how did tvs just appear? and really old tvs, based on the make and the year?"

this motherfucker

"he killed me with them" grog backstory GROG BACKSTORY

westruun is my favorite arc okay, I apologize for nothing

#crititag #lovmtag #critical role #the legend of vox machina #liveblog #reaction post #spoilers

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crystalsamethyst · 8 months ago

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Continued!

This is a rough-looking fight even though it's barely begun! There's a lot of 'tyrant shadows', and my rogue has been frightened somehow.

Oh no. It linked with our cleric and the mass around us formed to look exactly like him. It's Dark Link! No wonder this knight was having a fucking time. And he turns out to also be linked to one and we feel real bad for roughing this one shadow up.

If we kill it and knight dies, we'll just bring him back because we're level 18 and we can do that. But also Similarius (the actual double) cast heal through our rod of resurrection on our buddy so we probably won't even need to!

Eyyyy my rogue killed the van sized one linked with the knight! Now to beat the shit out of the one linked with our cleric. They asked why I'm not invisible! Because I went into battle before thinking about it! Can't shadows kind of sense you anyways? I can sure sense them.

Woahhh it's bleeding shadows. Metal af. But we eventually defeated it!

---

Cleric: How in the protestant hell- Wait, no, how in the 9 layers of hell-

Us: lmao

---

Druid: What does commune do again?

DM: You can communicate with a god.

Druid: But since I'm not a cleric, I don't really have a dedicated one.

Rogue: Pick a god and pray to it!

Druid: I might just let the DM choose-

Rogue: NO

She ended up choosing the cleric's god. I was so worried the DM would pick someone completely wrong for the situation.

Druid: I've got two more questions after this. What should I do?

Rogue: Who's the hottest god!

---

Yes. She finally found out why she's transforming and how she's being cursed. I've kept that secret for months. Thank fuck it's out in the open! Cursed amulet! But her character can't actually tell us because that's what part of all the cursed objects

---

DM: Mystra happily replied because the druid is in an angel form right now (from the battle) and used some pretty big magic.

Cleric: So you were communing? Why did your face look like you have to shite?

Druid: I was-

Rogue: Wait, can angels shit?

DM: I was literally thinking one of your questions was going to be 'can gods piss?'

Druid: (Out of character) Please put this in your blog lmao.

---

The knight is on his knees crying in a frozen tundra on finding out from the commune that his dead family is in heaven. Cleric, who got jealous druid was communing with his own god, is communing with her too.

Knight: Please, if you're talking to gods, can you ask them if I'm still worthy?!

Cleric: Workin' on it!

---

Cleric: So Mystra, what were y'all talking about?

Mystra: *starts telling*

Druid: Hey! I thought this was like a confessional box! Don't go spilling all my secrets!

Cleric: I'm a better follower!

DM: Mystra don't care, either.

---

Remove curse has been cast! The item is now able to be removed and unattuned and she's throwing it off!

Cleric: Why couldn't you tell us about it?!

Druid: Because that's the curse! You can't talk about having cursed items!

Rogue: It's like fight club!

---

Cleric: Hey again, Mystra! So uhhhhhhhh how can we remove the physical corruption?

Mystra: True resurrection, true polymorph, or it can be removed by the lord of the hells.

Cleric: True resurrection can't be cast on someone alive, can it?

DM: No.

Cleric: *cracks his neck and looks at the druid* so. Who's got a knife?

Rogue: I've got two of them!

It's been decided next time we have to renew our vows by being widowed, she's gonna be the one to die and get revived. Two tasks in one!

Druid: Cleric, why can't you be the one who dies for our vow renewal?

Cleric: Because I'm the fucking one who has to bring you back!

Lmao. Lover's spat. Ah, marriage.

It's time! For DND! We have been told we're closing in on the end!

So we enter on Tiax, offering us 20 soul coins to kill our river guide who is his captain. All of us are like uhhhh no?

Druid: I'm gonna just restrain him. DC 20.

DM: I rolled a nat 3, my phone's just charging but I'm sure he doesn't have +17 to resist being restrained-

Cleric: Pussy.

---

Tiax: I'm doing the bidding of my god, the god of lies!

Druid: If your god is the god of lies, how do you know he's not lying to you?

Tiax: Heheh, how do you know your benefactors aren't lying to you?

Druid: That's the thing, I don't trust anyone.

Cleric: What? Not even me?

Rogue: Yeah, we're married! Ouch!

---

We're in initiative and my rogue goes first.

Rogue: I never liked him anyways *goes at him, swings twice, badly misses twice lmao*

---

So thing is, we're in our cleric's own magic mansion. Tiax is stuck in here with us. Idk what he thought the turnout would be, especially since we clearly care about the captain.

Oh FUCK he fucking healed himself and dispelled magic on it. Nvm. Still, bad to fight three of us. I just did like 70 damage when finally hitting and it's still druid, cleric, and cleric's double.

And we killed him easy peasy.

---

We are un-fridgeing the other boat lady, who better not betray us too. Resurrected! She's pretty shook but hey, that's fair. What she went through is brutal.

---

There's this fricken knight dude facing shadows that I reached out mentally to, he's monologuing, I totally didn't hear the part where he was facing shadows and like I thought he was just standing on the edge of the river dramatically goin 'so this is where I die!' and I telepathically go "who's this tyrant you're regretting not defeating? What's your name, age, race, birthplace-"

Dude is having a whole fight he's outmatched in and I didn't even realize lmao good thing I didn't distract him enough to get killed.

---

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Our cleric cast daylight on the knight's sword to try to fend off the shadows and the entire area around them went dark and a bunch more shadows started amassing in the sky around us. Yikes yikes yikes. More on the next one.

#dnd #am plays dnd #chains of asmodeus #chains of asmodeus spoilers

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chaos-burst · 3 years ago

Text

direction to perfection

Dorian fought his parents to be here.

He fought tooth and nail to be allowed to live in a dorm, so there is no way he can back down from this decision. It’s his first shot at freedom and being normal and doing something for himself instead of his family.

Dorian will not back down.

He will persevere.

“Harder, come on!”

Loud moaning and the creaking of an old mattress accompany the dull thudding that comes from inside of his room. The room he’s currently standing in front of.

“I��m so close, so close, so close—“

Dorian stares at the door. His face is hot and he stands frozen in place as he tries to decide what to do. He needs his lute for the next bard class. He also needs to be far away from this room.

Gods, most of all he needs a new roommate.

“Oh, fuck, just like that—ah—“

Dorian closes his eyes and hides his face in his hands.

He was so proud after he finally convinced his parents to let him stay here. When he first entered his room he wasn’t even concerned about how small it was, or how his roommate’s bed was so close to his that stretching both their arms out would result in them touching hands.

And then he met Dariax, the guy he’s supposed to be living with for a long time.

“Dorian, are you literally standing here listening to Dariax bang someone inside of your room?”, Opal’s voice reaches his ears and he turns his head to look at her. She must see the desperation on his face because the next moment she gives him a pointed look before hammering her fist on the door.

“What the fuck, guys! Rent a room! And hurry up, Dorian needs his stuff!”

Dorian feels mortification creep from his face down into his stomach as he hears a loud thump, a shriek and a curse. The fact that Dariax knows that Dorian has been standing here makes him go through the five stages of grief so quickly that he can feel his insides churn.

Opal turns to face him and gives him a stern stop-putting-up-with-this look before she stalks away, twirling her dagger in her hand.

Dorian wishes it were that easy to voice what he wants.

To be sure of himself.

To live unashamed and free.

Sadly, his current repertoire covers none of these things.

The door gets yanked open and Dorian finds himself face to face with a white, half-elven woman wrapped in a bed sheet, her hair a complete and utter, blonde mess, her purple lipstick smeared across her left cheek.

“I was so close!”, she hisses as she holds up her index finger and thumb to indicate the fact that Dorian just ruined her earth-shattering orgasm.

“I—uh. I’m so—“

“Dorian! Gosh, I’m so sorry, I forgot that you had class, buddy!”

The half-elven woman throws Dorian the nastiest stink-eye and rushes down the corridor in nothing but the bedsheet wrapped around her. Dorian has no idea why she would do that, but Dariax distracts him.

Dariax, who is completely naked, his lips covered in purple lipstick, his cheeks flushed and his hair standing up from his head.

For decency, he’s holding a bottle of wine to cover his crotch.

Dorian wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

“I—uh. Sorry to disturb the—ah. Fun? I just. I just need to grab my lute real quick”, he says weakly, rushes over to his bed and grabs the lute leaning against the wall beside it.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, buddy, I’ll just go jack off in the shower, it’s no biggie.”

Dorian stares at Dariax who grins at him, as if that was a perfectly normal thing to say to someone in this situation.

“Sure. Have fun”, he croaks, his cheeks still flaming, and flees out of the room and down the hallway.

Dorian fought so hard to be here but gods, he wishes he were somewhere else right now.

The class he’s attending is one of his favorites—one that covers Bardic Inspiration as a form of self-expression, but it takes him a while to cool down from the mortifying ordeal of having Dariax as his roommate.

They’ve been living together for almost three months now and it’s not like it’s all bad.

Hell, Dorian likes Dariax.

He’s funny, doesn’t take himself too seriously, he tells ridiculous, entertaining stories and is loyal to a fault. But he’s also extroverted in a way that makes Dorian go insane. There is no moment of silence when Dariax is in the room—because Dariax hates silence. He also brings back so many different people to their room without asking Dorian first. Not all of them are Dariax’ lovers—at least not as far as he knows.

But they’re always loud, always messy and always completely oblivious to Dorian’s social cues.

Opal keeps ranting about how Dorian needs to reinforce his boundaries, but Dorian has no idea how to do that. Never in a million years would he bang on the door of his room if he knows that Dariax is having sex in there. Opal is always so loud and unapologetic about everything—Dorian envies her for it.

Dorian has never kissed anyone. Or had sex. Or anything in between these things. How the fuck both Dariax and Opal know exactly what they like and who they like is beyond him.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”, a soft voice says right next to him and Dorian is ripped out of thoughts and into reality. The class has been going for an hour and there’s someone standing next to him he’s never seen before.

She’s definitely some sort of fey—the whole lower half of her body is goat-like and her long ears are drooping. The amount of ribbons her dress is supporting is truly astounding and there is a whole crown of poisonous flowers on top of her head that she wears like a crown. Dorian blinks before catching himself.

“Ah—no. Please”, he says and gestures at the empty chair next to him.

The faun sits down carefully and watches as she carefully places a panflute on her thighs.

“Which bard college do you specialize in?”, Dorian asks.

“Hm? Oh, I’m not a bard. I’m majoring in druid. I just like to make music”, she answers with a smile.

Dorian never considered just taking classes that have nothing to do with his major. Maybe it would be something his parents would disapprove of even more than they did of his bard major and his choice to sleep in a dorm.

“I’m Fearne, by the way”, she adds and nods her heads slightly. A single leaf falls from her head and onto her panflute.

“Dorian”, he answers. Fearne smiles at him.

“You have very pretty hair”, she says.

“Oh. Ah—thank you? You—you too. Your hair, I mean. It’s—uh. Very green.”

Fearne’s smile widens.

“Thank you!”, she says in a tone that suggests that this might be the compliment she’s ever received. Dorian on the other hand wishes he could bite off his tongue. Your hair is very green. What kind of compliment is that? It’s no wonder that he didn’t have any chance to kiss anyone yet if this is all that he can come up with.

Dorian turns around and tries to concentrate on the professor’s lecture but his mind keeps wandering. He takes only a few notes and as he looks over at Fearne he sees that she’s doodling all sorts of mushrooms into her notebook. Then there is a small screech coming directly from her bag.

The class falls silent and everyone turns to look in their direction.

“What was that?”, professor Brooke asks with a confused look on his face. “I don’t remember any familiar registrations for this class.”

Dorian looks at Fearne who turns her head to look around at all the people staring in their direction.

“That was just me”, Fearne says and points to herself. “I ate too much pudding for breakfast.”

Professor Brooke looks embarrassed and very apologetic.

“I’m sorry, dear. Let’s continue then.”

As the lecture continues, Dorian leans over to Fearne.

“Didn’t that come out of your bag?”, he wants to know. Fearne shoots him a sly smile and gently lifts the flap of her green bag. Dorian stares at a small monkey peeking up at him with weirdly glowing eyes. Then the monkey raises his index finger to his mouth as if trying to tell Dorian to shut up.

Fearne closes the bag.

“That’s just Little Mister. He’s my… friend.”

“I see”, Dorian says.

He supposes that this is what he left home for—to meet all sorts of people, learn about all kinds of different things that he would never get in touch with while under his parents’ wings.

So Dorian decides to simply accept that some people are friends with monkeys and carry them around in bags.

If he can manage to live with someone like Dariax, he sure as hell won’t judge someone for bringing an animal companion to class.

After another fifteen minutes, Fearne leans over to Dorian again.

“I don’t understand this concept that the professor is talking about.”

“Oh, they explained it in the first half hour, before you got here.”

“Oh, I see. I was late”, Fearne says and looks disappointed, as if she was only now realizing this.

“Uh—yeah. Like, half an hour.”

“Time is kind of hard, you know. It’s like—it’s like this weird soup. And I don’t think I really have it memorized how to read clocks.”

Dorian stares at her.

“So. Are you not from here?”, he asks and groans internally at his phrasing. Fearne doesn’t seem to mind, though. She nods gratefully as Dorian pushes over his notes so she can look at them.

“No, not really. I come from the Feywild. We don��t really have clocks.”

“Because… time is a weird soup.”

“Yeah, exactly. Is that a saying here, too?”, she asks, her ears turning towards him full of excitement.

“Ah—no. I don’t think it is. Not here, at least.”

“Well, now you know it.”

Dorian nods and watches as Fearne studies his notes to copy some of them down into her notebook. He tries to imagine a world without clocks and immediately gets anxious at the prospect of always being late.

In the last twenty minutes of the lecture, they actually get to play their instruments.

“You play beautifully”, Fearne says after listening to Dorian play for a few minutes.

“Thank you! Your music is really different from what I know. It’s interesting.”

Fearne beams at him.

“Maybe we could make some music together some time?”, she asks.

“I would like that, yeah.”

Dorian isn’t bad at making friends, he’s just not as good or fast at it as Dariax. Maybe that’s because he’s a little more selective about the people he hangs out with, but Dariax just seems to consider everyone he talked to more than once his friend.

Dorian never really had friends growing up, so he doesn’t consider himself an expert. But at least for him Dariax’ way doesn’t seem to be all that great.

So when Dariax asks: “Hey, do you wanna come hang out with me and my friends tonight?” Dorian feels less than inclined to say yes.

“Uh—I already have plans”, he lies, trying to figure out if he should try to convince Opal to spend the evening with him or if he should just take this opportunity to have some peace and quiet in his room.

“Aw, man. Too bad. We wanted to go skinny dipping in the gym’s pool”, Dariax says.

“Isn’t that off limits at night?”, Dorian asks, his brow furrowed as he looks at Dariax’ face that breaks into a wide grin.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s fun to go there”, he answers and winks at Dorian. Dorian feels his cheeks grow hot and swallows as his intestines suddenly feel the need to writhe around like living snakes.

“Oh, well—I’m not really a—uh. A rebel boy, as they say”, he says and laughs nervously. “You go and have fun, though.”

He tries not to picture Dariax completely naked in the dim, shimmering light of the campus’ pool but he fails miserably. His palms start sweating.

“Oh, don’t worry, I will, I will. But hey, maybe next time!”

“Uh—yeah. Maybe”, Dorian says weakly as Dariax saunters out of their room and closes the door behind him. Dorian stares at the locked door for way too long and he’s endlessly glad that no one can see him.

This doesn’t seem like a normal thing to invite someone to. When he went to college to learn how to be a bard, he envisioned parties, maybe some illegal weed smoking on a restricted rooftop, at the most.

He did not envision to be asked to get butt naked, break into a gym with a pool at night and go swimming with a bunch of—probably drunk—strangers he doesn’t even know the names of.

That was, of course, before he got Dariax as a roommate.

Now Dorian feels like he should be prepared for anything.

As Dorian grabs his lute and sinks down onto his bed he wonders if Fearne lives on campus or if she lives in the Feywild and somehow manages to travel here for every class that she has. That would explain the time thing, he supposes, because he learned that time works differently on other planes.

This is the first evening in what feels like weeks that he has the room just to himself. In between the pieces he plays on his lute he simply sits on the bed, enjoying the silence. When he opens the window the cool breeze from outside reminds him of home and he closes his eyes for a little while.

It smells like rain and autumn outside. Dorian turns to look at the small room that’s his now. It’s nothing compared to the big, bright room he had at home, but it feels special simply because this is the first time he gets to do what he wants with a space without anyone breathing down his neck.

There’s not much in the room aside from their desks, beds and the closet they share, but Dorian pinned a few posters and postcards over his bed for the very first time. His bed is unmade—something that his parents would have never allowed—and there are fairy lights dangling from the ceiling that he actually picked out himself.

The desk is covered in sheet music and books and for a few seconds Dorian looks at the small picture of his brother and himself that is sticking to his pencil holder, before turning his gaze at some of the articles he printed out yesterday.

He might actually get some homework done in this blessed quiet.

At least that’s what he thinks until his phone rings.

At some point Dariax must’ve stolen Dorian’s phone and taken a selfie to make it pop up every time he calls Dorian, because as his phone lights up Dorian can see Dariax’ dopey smile appear. Dorian ignores the rush of heat he feels as he looks down at the glowing display, reaches for his phone and picks up the call.

“Dariax?”

“Dorian, hey buddy!”

He definitely sounds drunk, which doesn’t surprise Dorian. But there’s an edge to his voice that makes Dorian nervous.

“What’s up, Dariax?”

“I—uh. Remember how I told you that we were going to go skinny dipping in the gym and everything?”

“Yeah, I haven’t forgotten. It was like, three hours ago.”

“Cool, yeah. So the guys—“, and Dorian wonders who exactly ‘the guys’ are supposed to be, “were in a real funny mood. So. They stole my clothes and locked me in here—“

“They what?”

“I know, right? So… I tried to break open the lock, but I might be a little too drunk to get it right. And I was wondering—could you maybe bring me some clothes and get that door open for me?”

Dorian stares out into the night.

“How do you have your phone if they took all your stuff?”, he asks weakly.

“Had it with me in the pool to take some underwater selfies. It’s waterproof”, Dariax supplies cheerfully.

Dorian can see lights in the buildings all over campus and a crescent moon in the sky. He tries not to imagine what kind of pictures Dariax was trying to take of himself. Naked. In a pool.

“You want me to break open a door”, he repeats, just in case he misheard.

“I mean, kinda? Maybe? I really don’t wanna sleep in here. I slept in worse places, but it seems kinda shitty to wake up and immediately get into trouble for trespassing and all of that…”

Dorian isn’t sure if he wants to know in what kind of places Dariax has slept that count as worse as a college gym’s pool.

“But I guess I could just sleep in the showers or something.”

“I don’t really know how to get locks open”, Dorian sighs, but he’s already walking over to their shared closet. In theory, Dariax’ half is on the left, but he insists on just throwing all of his clothes in there without actually caring about which side they land on, so Dorian grabs some jeans, a hoodie and some underwear and stuffs it into his bag. He tries very hard not to look at the underwear too closely.

Dariax might not know what privacy is but that doesn’t mean that Dorian has to stoop down to the same level as his roommate.

“Fine. I’ll see what I can do”, he huffs.

“Aw, fuck yeah, you’re the best. I lo—“

“Bye”, Dorian calls and hangs up hastily before Dariax can finish.

His dreams of a quiet night dissipate into smoke as he throws the bag over his shoulder, grabs his keys, his jacket and his phone and leaves the room to head towards the gym.

Dorian, never in his life, has tried to open a lock with anything other than the key that was supposed to go into it. He doubts that he would manage to learn it in the heat of a moment so as he walks through the night, passing under a lantern every few steps he takes, he considers what he can do to get a locked door to open.

He is not strong enough to pry it open.

He has never learned how to do that trick with a credit card and isn’t sure if it would even work on this door even if he knew how.

There is no spell he knows that would be useful to open a door.

The only thing Dorian is good at is music and talking to people.

He makes his decision as he heads for the closest security guard patrolling campus at night.

“Excuse me, hi”, he says with the most honest and simultaneously nervous smile he can muster. The young man looks him up and down and seems to come to the conclusion that Dorian is worthy of his attention because his body turns towards him and offers a small smile back. He’s white withshort, brown hair, a long nose and arms full of tattoos.

“Can I help you?”, he asks.

“Well—this is so embarrassing. I—uh. I was in the gym earlier and I forgot my phone in there and my girlfriend wanted to call me tonight and I—uh. I already missed the last call so…”

He trails off as he tries to looks as bashful and stressed as he can—something that isn’t hard because Dorian still has to think about how Dariax is naked and probably dripping wet and how they’re most likely going to get into so much damn trouble.

“Oh wow, that sucks”, the security guard says and Dorian nods.

“Yeah, I’m—this is so dumb, I know you have better things to do, but… If you could just let me sneak in there for a minute and grab my phone? That would be a total life-saver, man”, he says and brings his hands up in front of his chest in a pleading gesture.

“Well, I guess we can make an exception. Don’t want to be the cause for trouble in paradise, right?”, he answers with a smile and Dorian forces himself to laugh.

“Thanks so much, I’ll drop off some cookies next time I see you around”, Dorian says and the security guard chuckles and makes a joke about bribery that Dorian doesn’t actually find funny but laughs about anyway. Since he officially ‘lost’ his phone he has no idea how to let Dariax know what his plan is.

All Dorian can do is hope that Dariax isn’t standing right behind the door butt-naked. Dorian supposes that he could always claim not to know him then—something that would only hold up for so long.

They walk towards the gym and Dorian can feel his heartbeat picking up.

What if he gets suspended? Kicked out? Sent home?

When they arrive in front of the gym everything is silent. Dariax is not banging on the door from the inside, calling Dorian’s name. Dorian decides to take that as a win as he nervously watches the guard fiddle for the master-key before opening the door.

“So, where did you leave your phone?”, the guard asks him and Dorian looks around hastily to see if he can spot Dariax anywhere.

“Uh—over on the benches, I’ll be right back!”, he says with an apologetic smile before rushing through the gym and towards the benches on the other side of the building.

“Dariax!”, he hisses into the darkness towards the corridor that leads to the locker-room and the pool.

“Hey bu—“

“Pscht. There’s a guard there. I had him open the door, you have to sneak out!”

Dorian starts crouching down on the floor and drops his bag so Dariax can reach it. He’s peaking his head out of the dark corridor and Dorian hopes that the security guard doesn’t spot him as he reaches his arm out towards the bag with Dariax’ clothes inside it.

“Did you find it?”, the guard calls over and Dorian can hear his footsteps coming closer. He hastily fishes for his phone and slides it under one of the benches.

“Not yet, it’s pretty dark in here”, he says. The rustling in the corridor next to him tells him that Dariax is hastily getting dressed.

“I have a flashlight, one sec”, the guard says and crouches down next to Dorian who feels bad for lying to the poor guy. He’s so friendly and forthcoming—Dorian decides that he actually has to get this man some cookies.

“Oh, there it is!”, he says and points to the left as the light of the torch reaches his phone.

“I’m afraid my arms too short to reach that”, the guard says and scoots back so Dorian can extent his arm and grab his phone. He tries hard not to look behind him to check if Dariax already made it out or not. He gets up, stuffs the phone into his pocket and dusts off his pants before turning towards the guard with an embarrassed smile.

“Man, thank you so much, this is really clutch.”

“No problem. I hope it works out with your girlfriend”, he answers and leads Dorian back towards the door.

“Thanks. If I see you again I’ll keep you posted!”

They step outside into the cool night air and Dorian can’t see Dariax anywhere. His heart is still beating rapidly in his chest and his palms are terribly sweaty. He wipes them off on his pants and decides that he needs a hot shower and his warm bed after this terrible disaster. His body feels as if he just ran a marathon.

So much for a quiet, peaceful night.

As soon as the guard leaves Dorian looks around frantically. If Dariax didn’t make it outside, there’s no way Dorian can convince this guy to open the gym up again without telling him the truth—something Dorian desperately does not want to do.

“Hey, over here!”

Dorian turns around and sees Dariax waving out of one of the bushes. His hair is wet and sticking to his forehead, his face is flushed and his eyes glassy, but he has a wide, reckless smile on his face that makes Dorian’s heart leap into his throat and press on his windpipe.

“What the fuck, man?”, Dorian hisses as he walks over to Dariax who gets up now, slightly swaying on his feet. There are some yellow leaves stuck in his auburn hair.

“Damn, buddy, that was awesome! You seriously have a velvet tongue, how did you even do that?”

“I asked nicely. What the actual fuck, Dariax? Why did your friends think that was a good idea?”

Dariax looks at him sheepishly and shrugs.

“Ah—to tell you the truth, I don’t know.”

“Sounds like they were fucking you over”, Dorian says and starts walking back towards the dorm. Some fine mist hangs between the trees, which look mostly black except for those who reach into the light of the street lamps. The orange and brown colored leaves remind Dorian of Dariax’ hair.

“Yeah. Sounds like it, huh.”

Dariax is quiet after that, something which Dorian, for some reason, finds even more disturbing than hearing Dariax’ sex-noises through a locked door.

“You okay?”, he asks after two minutes of walking in silence.

Dariax turns to look at him and the smile that appears on his face doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah, sure. You know how it is, people just fuck you over. That’s how it works, I guess.”

“It doesn’t have to work like this”, Dorian says, his brow furrowed and his hands itchy to reach out and tussle Dariax’ wet hair for comfort. He doesn’t even know if Dariax wants to be comforted. Or wants to be comforted by Dorian specifically.

Dorian doesn’t even know why he feels the need to comfort Dariax, seeing as to how it’s his own fault for getting into such a situation in the first place.

“Hm, maybe. But I guess you showed up to save the day”, Dariax says, looking at Dorian thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I didn’t fuck you over”, Dorian agrees and holds open the door for them as they reach the dorm.

“Yeah. You didn’t. Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.”

The security guard’s name is Orym, he knows Fearne from taking some druid classes on the side on top of his fighter classes and he enjoys blueberry muffins.

“So, how did it go with your girlfriend?”, he asks while chewing on the muffin that Dorian handed him a few moments ago.

“We broke up”, Dorian replies with a gravelly voice and Orym pulls a face.

“I’m sorry, man.”

“Don’t worry about it. Thanks again for helping me with my phone.”

“It’s no problem at all. Thank you for this muffin.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you around.”

Dorian is pleased to find that the steady trickle of loud people that Dariax used to invite to their room before is thinning. He still goes out drinking and partying a lot, and he still has guests over to play Mario Kart or some horrible drinking game, but overall Dorian’s having more peace and quiet than ever before since he moved into this room with Dariax.

On a Wednesday night Dariax is sprawled out on his bed flipping through his phone. Dorian wonders if he’s going through his contacts, considering whom to call on for some. Well. Drinking or sex, probably.

Dorian hopes it’s not sex. And if it is sex, then for sex that is supposed to happen far away from here.

“How come you never go out?”, Dariax wants to know.

Dorian looks up from the sheet music he’s working on. He’s humming along quietly as he writes down, erases, writes down again and corrects the song he’s trying to write. He finds that he actually likes working in companionable silence, even though he didn’t think this would be possible with Dariax as his roommate a few weeks ago.

Dariax doesn’t seem to mind not talking as long as there is some sort of sound in the room—and Dorian’s humming apparently counts.

“How do you mean? I go out all the time”, Dorian says and looks up from his paper, cocking his head to regard Dariax who’s head is now hanging off of the side of the bed so he looks back at Dorian upside down.

“Yeah but like, partying. Drinking. College stuff, you know. You just hang out with the scary lady and she seems to like partying.”

“First of all, her name’s Opal. And I guess she can be kind of scary, but only if you’re a dick. And second of all, I hang out with other people! I met this very nice faun in my bard class and we’re making music from time to time. And—I don’t know. Partying is just not. Uh... It’s just not...”

Dorian sighs and leans against the wall behind him. The room is so scrappy that some of the wallpaper is coming down in little flakes in some places. He absentmindedly starts picking at his pillow.

“I never really went to parties before coming here. It’s just. I don’t know. New. I’m not like you. You know, with all the drinking and partying and—and uh. Sex. I guess.”

He can feel his ears burning and his cheeks heating up as he mumbles the end of his sentence. Dariax blinks at him and drops his phone on his face.

“Ow, fuck—okay. Wait. Are you saying that you’re a party-virgin and an actual virgin?”

“Oh come on, man, why do you have to say it like that? I’ve been to parties! But not—you know? College parties! And I never really drank alcohol before. It seems... I don’t know. Shifty.”

“Shifty”, Dariax repeats and a shit-eating grin spreads over his face, lighting up his eyes with a shimmer of mischief that Dorian finds very disconcerting.

“So you are a virgin.”

Dorian throws his pencil at Dariax and misses.

“So what? There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin! We can’t all walk around like you sleeping with people left and right!”

Dariax chuckles, obviously pleased with himself.

“Very true, I’m one of a kind. So, okay. But you kissed people, right?”, he wants to know.

“Why is that even relevant?”, Dorian hisses. He decides to throw his pillow next and Dariax almost falls off the bed trying to dodge it as he laughs.

“It’s not, I’m just curious! You’re always super uptight and mysterious, I know shit all about you and you’ve basically seen me banging someone at least twice!”

Dorian tries and fails to keep his poise as he flails his arms around.

“I could’ve lived happily without having seen any of that!”

“So that means you never kissed anyone?”, Dariax asks again, his grin wide and his eyebrows offensively wiggling. Dorian wishes he had some sort of cake that he could press Dariax’ face into.

“No, never. Are you happy now?”

“Would you like to kiss someone?”, Dariax wants to know and leans forward on the bed. He seems to have decided that sitting upright is the better choice in case Dorian decides to throw something else at him.

“I—I mean. I don’t know? I haven’t found the right person to kiss yet!”

“Ah, you’re one of those guys”, Dariax says with a wise nod that drives Dorian up the walls.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know? Like a romantic. True love and shit.”

“I wouldn’t—I. I haven’t really thought about it much. It’s not that important to me.”

Dariax pulls a face and nods, as if he understands perfectly what it means to not much care about kissing, sex or relationships. Dorian doubts that he actually understands with the frequency in which he drags people into his bed.

“I guess it’s not bad to wait for someone special”, Dariax concedes with a lopsided smile. “My first kiss was a total disaster, I didn’t know what I was doing at all and the dude told me it was like kissing a bowl of rice pudding.”

Dorian stares at him.

“That’s such a horrible thing to say”, he answers and Dariax shrugs.

“Yeah, I guess. He could’ve been nicer about it.”

Dorian’s brain is reeling.

Dariax had his first kiss with a guy. Dariax doesn’t only like women.

“Oh gods, I wish you hadn’t told me”, Dorian groans and presses the palms of his hands on his eyes until he sees little, colorful specs dancing on the inside of his eyelids. “What if I kiss someone I actually like and it turns out to be a completely terrible?”

He lowers his hands and stares at Dariax who stares back at Dorian with an intensity that surprises him.

“I mean. I guess you could just practice”, Dariax says.

“Oh yeah, sure. I’ll ask the first random person I meet in the hallway—“

“I would do it. Practice with you, I mean.”

Dorian blinks. He can feel the heat rising in his face and knows that his cheeks are turning purple.

“I—uh. That’s. Well. That’s very kind of you. But I’ll—I guess I’ll just figure it out on my own.”

Dorian chuckles nervously and glances back at Dariax who looks at him for a second longer before flopping back down onto his bed.

“Sure thing, buddy”, he says quietly and it’s probably just Dorian’s imagination that he sounds a bit disappointed.

“Dorian. Hey, Dorian!”

Dariax’ voice cuts through a dream about flying through space naked and Dorian opens his eyes. He is met with darkness and turns his head over to look towards Dariax’ side of the room. It takes a few seconds for his eyes to adjust and the confusion and sleep to drain out of him.

“Huh?”

“Hey, sorry. I—uh. I kinda had—I kinda had a nightmare?”

“Sorry to hear that”, Dorian rasps and rubs at his eyes, “was it the one about the giant dwarven woman again?”

“Ah, no. Not this time. I—uh. Do you mind maybe just… I don’t know. Talking to me a little? Or, ah—humming? I would scoot over but your bed is probably a bit too small”, Dariax rambles and laughs nervously.

Dorian is too tired to get flustered about the prospect of cuddling with his roommate.

“You can scoot over. But don’t hog the blanket”, he mumbles and makes room in his tiny bed, pressing his back against the wall and lifting his blanket up, his eyes already falling shut again.

“Oh fuck yeah”, he hears Dariax whisper. There’s a rustling, the sound of naked feet on a wooden floor and then the mattress dips and Dariax climbs into bed with him, his body way warmer than Dorian expected it to be.

He’s wearing nothing but boxers.

“You sure this is okay?”, Dariax whispers into the dark and Dorian makes a noncommittal noise at the back of his throat before letting the blanket fall down over Dariax. His arms simply drops which is probably way too close to a hug in this position as they lie face to face on the mattress that was not made for two people to sleep on it.

“Thanks a lot, buddy. You’re the best”, Dariax whispers. Dorian knows that Dariax is pretty dense simply because he’s a dwarf, but while he drifts back off to sleep he feels the tension in Dariax’ body. This nightmare must have been deeply upsetting for someone as carefree and jovial as Dariax to ask for goddamn snuggles in the middle of the night.

Dorian starts humming. It’s faint and definitely not his best and probably not even a real song, but slowly, ever so slowly, he can feel Dariax relax beside him as they both fall asleep again.

What his sleepy brain did not account for when Dorian allowed Dariax entry into his bed was how they might wake up in completely different positions to the ones they fell asleep in and how his body was a mean betrayer set out to humiliate Dorian.

As he slowly comes back to consciousness Dorian realizes how incredibly warm it is. The next thing he notices is that there is a quietly snoring dwarf pressed against his side, one leg pushed over Dorian’s legs. Dariax, sometime during the night, has curled into Dorian so his nose is now pressed somewhere close to Dorian’s ribs. He can feel Dariax’ hot breath tickle his exposed skin.

This is the most skin-on-skin contact Dorian has ever had with someone who is not related to him.

Dariax’ arm is curled around his waist and Dorian has no idea how he’ll be able to get to the bathroom without waking Dariax up or alerting him to the fact that Dorian is suffering a terrible case of a morning boner.

Yeah, he definitely didn’t think this through when he allowed Dariax in here. If Dariax pulls his leg up a little more his thigh will absolutely come in contact with Dorian’s dick and he is not ready for that to happen.

Not even a little bit.

Dorian can’t help but notice that Dariax smells kind of nice. And the feeling of naked skin on naked skin feels so much better than he imagined it would. He should probably not think about skin on skin contact too much in his current predicament but Dariax decides that this is the right moment to move his leg.

Dorian makes an undignified noise in the back of his throat as Dariax’ thigh rubs against his erection and before he can really consider what his best course of action might be, he’s already shoving Dariax off of him.

Since these beds are tiny, that also means shoving Dariax off the bed.

There is loud thunk as Dariax hits the floor and bolts upright with a yelp, his hair tousled and untidy, his eyes barely open.

“I didn’t do it!”, he slurs loudly, holding both hands up in a gesture of surrender and Dorian can’t help but wonder what in the nine hells Dariax has been dreaming about.

“Sorry, man. You were—uh. Getting a little close”, Dorian says and sits up, carefully pulling the blanket over his crotch.

Dariax blinks up at him.

“Sorry, buddy. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”, he mumbles and sways to his feet to stumble back over to his own bed.

Dorian immediately misses the warmth and the feeling of naked skin against his but he pushes the thought away and clears his throat.

“Did you sleep okay after your nightmare?”, he asks.

“Hmhm. Like a baby”, Dariax mumbles into his pillow. His face is pressed into it and he didn’t even take the take to cover himself with his blanket. “You have the most beautiful voice.”

Dorian’s cheeks begin to burn and he grips the blanket tighter.

“Thank you.”

“’S no problem.”

Dorian glances over at his roommate. Dariax looks surprisingly peaceful like this and it doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep again. The quiet snore returns and his mouth falls open slightly. When Dorian finally gets up to take a shower, he shivers slightly in the cold before carefully stepping over to the other bed and pulling the blanket over Dariax.

“You know what, I feel honored that you’re going to trust me with your first time”, Dariax says, looking endlessly pleased with himself.

Dorian sputters.

“Excuse m—“

“Your first time drinking, buddy”, Dariax explains and laughs as he sees the flush on Dorian’s cheeks.

They’re both sitting on Dariax’ bed—because Dariax doesn’t care about getting spots on his sheets at all—with a bottle of liquor that is bright red and looks a little radioactive.

“Well, I think I would just—uh. Prefer it… to try this out with someone I trust before I make a fool of myself in front of a whole party, you know”, Dorian says. When no answer comes, he turns his head to look at Dariax.

Dariax’ eyes are shimmering with something that Dorian can’t quite read but it makes his heart race in his chest. Dariax never looked at him like this before. His expression is almost soft with the barest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Glad to hear you trust me, Dorian. I trust you, too.”

Dorian clears his throat and looks away, the tension in the air between them suddenly too much for him.

“I am very trustworthy”, he jokes and grabs the bottle to unscrew it and smell the liquid inside.

“Ugh—it’s revolting”, he remarks and coughs a little.

Dariax chuckles.

“That’s how you know it’s good”, he says with a nod and gestures for Dorian to take the first sip.

Dorian has tried some champagne before, some beer. Some wine. But never more than half a glass. He never tried drinking any hard liquor and this stuff is burning his throat and sending heatwaves through his whole body immediately.

“Wow”, he coughs and hands the bottle to Dariax.

“Good stuff, right?”, Dariax says and

“It’s terrible!”

“Yeah”, Dariax says with a wide grin and a twinkle in his eyes.

“I don’t think a thing can be both good and terrible at the same time”, Dorian remarks, his face still in a grimace as he tries to get used to the burning sensation of hard alcohol in his throat.

“Nonsense, those are like, all of my favorite movies!”, Dariax says and takes a huge swig out of the bottle before handing it back to Dorian.

Dorian feels weirdly honored that Dariax decided to stay in on a Saturday night just to hang out with him and test the waters with his roommate while no doubt all his friends are out there partying.

“Like what movies”, Dorian wants to know and takes another careful sip out of the bottle. His mind provides him with the terrible thought that this might as well count as an indirect kiss, something that is entirely idiotic and not useful at all.

“Okay, so, you know when someone asks you a question about yourself and suddenly you have forgotten all of your interests and hobbies and favorites and pretty much everything about yourself?”, Dariax says, his brow furrowed as he tries to think of a movie that is both terrible and good at the same time.

“Tell you what. I can say that two of my favorite movies of all time are Pacific Rim and Mad Max, and those are not terrible, mind you, they’re just good. But if I manage to think of one that is both terrible and good, I’ll tell you immediately.”

Dorian has neither seen Mad Max nor Pacific Rim. When he tells Dariax as much his roommate looks aghast.

“Oh my gosh, Dorian. Buddy. My boy. That is—no. No, I can’t let this stand. Grab your laptop, we’re watching Pacific Rim right now”, Dariax orders and looks at Dorian expectantly.

This is how Dorian ends up crying about giant robots. And maybe also brothers.

Dariax hands him a tissue and sniffs.

“Good stuff, right?”, Dariax asks and empties the bottle as the end credits start rolling. Dorian nods and watches as Dariax throws the empty bottle to the side before pulling out a second one from under his bed.

Dorian is definitely tipsy. He drank way less than Dariax, of course, but he can feel a faint buzzing in his head and his vision seems to be slowed. There is a feeling of heaviness in his legs as he accepts the new bottle—this time the liquor is bright blue and tastes even worse—and drinks.

The new sensations in his body aren’t unpleasantly.

In a way, his soul feels lighter like this, less anxious, less unsure about things, which is pretty nice.

“So, what’s your favorite movie?”, Dariax wants to know.

“I—hm. I don’t know. I’m not much of a movie guy. I suppose I liked Lord of the Rings when I watched it a few years ago”, he says, thinking about the movies he has seen and which ones he enjoyed the most. Weirdly enough it’s exactly as Dariax said—now that someone asked about what he likes, Dorian can’t seem to remember much about himself.

“Good choice”, Dariax says with an approving nod that makes Dorian feel weirdly pleased.

“I guess we could totally do a Lord of the Rings marathon, you know? Get some snacks, order pizza, get fucked up. Hey, we could make it a drinking game!”

Dorian isn’t sure why there’s a tingling sensation under his skin, or why his heart starts beating faster in light of Dariax’ suggestion. Maybe it’s because he feels happy that Dariax wants to spend more time with Dorian. Maybe it’s just because the alcohol is getting to Dorian.

“What about your other friends?”, Dorian asks.

“What about them?”

“Well—wouldn’t you rather spend more time with them? You know—partying. Going skinny dipping. That sort of thing.”

Dorian knows that he’s fishing for compliments. He knows and he feels embarrassed about it but he can’t stop. Validation is something that he craves way too much for his own comfort, but the alcohol has lowered his defenses—or raised his stupidity. Either one of those.

“Well—you know when we went skinny dipping and they fucked me over, that was like. Not cool? And you got me outta there, even though you don’t really do that sorta thing, you know? So—that was not the first time I got fucked over by people I called my friends, but it was totally the first time someone bailed me out of stuff. So yeah. I’d rather stick with you, if that’s alright with you”, Dariax says, taking a few long gulps from the bottle of blue liquid.

Dorian feels a rush of heat under his skin. It’s not unusual for him to feel strongly about being praised or validated, but it usually doesn’t hit this hard.

He swallows and laughs nervously, grabbing the bottle from Dariax and taking a big sip that burns his throat.

“Yeah—yeah, alright”, he croaks and Dariax beams at him.

“I’m sorry, by the way. That—uh. That those people left you behind”, he adds quietly and hands the bottle back to Dariax.

“Oh, you know. I suppose it’s on me. I’m not very smart and I’m not good on my own, so I tend to follow people’s leads and they—uh. I guess they get bored with me, or something? Anyway. It’s not really important. Hey, how do you feel about watching Mad Max, too?”

“Hey, my friend is throwing a party on Saturday. Do you want to come?”

“Are you kidding? Do I wanna take your partying virginity? Hell, yes!”

“Dariax...”

“Sorry buddy, I got carried away.”

Dorian is still thinking about rice pudding on Friday.

The fact that somewhere out there is a person who would tell someone else something mean like this makes him nervous to try and kiss anyone. What if he actually likes the person he’s kissing and gets told that his kisses feel like a bowl of rice pudding?

Or worse, something even slimier?

He’s trying to get another song for one of his bard classes done, but he’s unable to concentrate.

“Hey, Dariax”, he says and looks over at Dariax who’s watching cat videos on YouTube, “can I ask you something? About—uh. About... kissing?”

Dariax looks up at him with bright eyes.

“Sure”, he says and grins.

Dorian swallows.

“Uh—I was thinking. How—uh. How did you get better at kissing? Did you practice with anyone?”

“Nah, not really. I mean, not like that. I just went for it again and again until I got better at it. Guess it would’ve been nice to have someone around for practice, but I made it work anyway. No one’s been complaining for a while now.”

Dorian chews on his bottom lip and pokes the paper he’s working on with a pencil.

“So—uh. You said—“

“Yes”, Dariax shoots back immediately, as if he knows what Dorian is going to say next. Dorian feels the familiar heat rise up in his chest as he looks at his roommate who seems very intense all of a sudden, leaning forward and shutting his laptop, his eyes fixed on Dorian.

“I—uh. I don’t. I don’t really... I don’t like... guys?”, Dorian says and his voice sounds way too hoarse in his own ears. Dariax’ shoulders sag a little but he shrugs.

“Doesn’t really matter for this, right? It’s just kissing.”

“Right. Okay. Uh—so. If I—if I wanted to try this... how do you—how do we make this work?”, he asks.

His heart is beating so fast, Dorian is afraid it’s going to break his rib cage and fly out of the window. Dariax puts his laptop to the side and pats the mattress beside himself, his eyes still fixed on Dorian’s face with an intensity that makes heat pool in Dorian’s lower abdomen.

He pushes the feeling aside and gets up from his own bed to sit down next to Dariax.

“I know what this is about”, Dariax says with a sly grin.

“Uh—you do?”

Dorian doesn’t know what this is about aside from his own nagging sense of anxiety and the fact that he can’t stop thinking about kissing Dariax—which is entirely Dariax’ fault because he offered this whole practicing thing in the first place.

“Yeah. You’re going to check out some ladies on that party tomorrow”, Dariax says, his grin widening as he scoots closer to Dorian. Dorian can feel Dariax’ body heat and he presses his back against the wall, his fingers digging into the blanket crumpled below his legs.

“Ah—yeah. You got me”, he lies and laughs nervously. Dariax winks and gives him fingerguns.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I gotcha! I’ll be the best wingman ever. Here, just lemme—“

And Dariax climbs into Dorian’s lap, straddling him, his face so close to Dorian’s that Dorian can feel his breath on his cheek.

He holds his breath as he notices all the freckles on Dariax’ face, his scruffy beard, his hazel-brown eyes...

His heart is stumbling in his chest.

“Thanks”, he rasps.

“No need to be nervous, I’m sure you’ll be way better at this than I was the first time around. Just lemme take the lead, okay?”

Dorian nods.

If he gets hard now, Dariax will definitely feel it.

Fuck.

Dariax raises his hands and tilts Dorian’s chin up while his other hand gently cups Dorian’s cheek. It’s already almost too much for Dorian. His lips open slightly and his eyes widen as Dariax gets closer still, his nose gently touching Dorian’s.

“If you want me to stop, just smack me real hard”, Dariax whispers and his breath tickles Dorian’s lips before the distance between their mouths is closed and Dariax is kissing him, his hazel-brown eyes closed.

Dariax’ lips are warm and a little chapped and Dorian gasps against his mouth helplessly—something that Dariax seems to take as encouragement. He tilts his head to the side to get a better angle and then his lips press against Dorian’s in earnest.

Dorian’s heart stops for a few seconds before restarting with doubled speed.

His whole body seems to be on fire all of a sudden and he can’t help but raise his hands to touch Dariax—just touch him anywhere. He needs to ground himself, hold onto something, or he might just get lost in the feeling of Dariax’ warm lips carefully moving against his.

It’s a slow kiss, almost sweet, but Dorian’s skin is set aflame.

I don’t like guys, he thinks as his whole body decides that he must get closer to Dariax, wrap his arms around him, pull him in, cup the back of his head so he doesn’t move away—

“This okay?”, Dariax mumbles against his lips and he sounds so out of breath as if he just sprinted a whole mile.

“Yeah—I. Yeah.”

“You wanna try with tongue?”

Dorian swallows. There is still heat pooling in his abdomen. He should say no. He should stop doing this. This feels dangerous and stupid.

But it also feels so good.

“Yeah, okay”, he whispers.

Dariax doesn’t wait for another invite, he immediately leans forward again to close the distance between them and as Dorian’s hands dig themselves into the back of Dariax’s shirt and his heart starts racing even faster Dariax slides his tongue into Dorian’s mouth and Dorian’s mind goes blank.

There is a sound that is dangerously close to a moan and it takes him a few seconds to realize that it’s coming from him.

He holds onto Dariax like a drowning man before he manages to kiss back.

The second their tongues slide against one another there is a sound from Dariax too, one that shoots directly into Dorian’s lap. His hips buckle up involuntarily, his arms wrap around Dariax tighter and Dariax presses closer, his hips grinding down against him.

Dorian is lost.

And he’s so, so fucked.

It feels so incredibly good to kiss Dariax. He forgot why he even started kissing him, all he knows that he doesn’t want to stop, that he wants to get closer, wants to touch more skin—

He’s hard by now, and so is Dariax. Dorian can feel his erection through the jeans that Dariax is wearing.

Dorian buries his hands in Dariax’ hair and pulls. Dariax makes a helpless sound and bites down on Dorian’s bottom lip before sucking on it lightly and Dorian is afraid that he might come in his pants just from kissing and the delicious friction of Dariax’ crotch rubbing against his.

Shit, shit, shit, shit—

Before Dorian can make a fool of himself Dariax pulls back.

He’s panting, his eyes are glassy, his lips red and wet from kissing and he looks so pretty, Dorian is momentarily stunned by the revelation that he might not be into girls or guys or pretty much anyone.

But he’s definitely, terribly, irrevocably into Dariax.

Fuck.

“S—sorry”, Dariax gasps and clambers off of Dorian’s lap. “That was—I’m. I—uh. I got carried away a little. Didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries.”

Dorian swallows and stares at him, his eyes wide and his heart pressing against his rib cage.

“It’s okay”, he rasps. “I—uh. I got a little carried away, too.”

Dariax throws him a lopsided smile.

“Well. I’d say you’re good to go.”

And he gets off the bed and stumbles over to the bathroom, leaving Dorian behind with a rapidly beating heart, tingling lips and the revelation that he has the world’s worst crush on Dariax.

#doriax #critfic #exu fic #critical role #dariax zaveon #dorian storm #exandria unlimited #exu #fanfiction #screeching into the void #text #this has an M rating on ao3 jsyk #we have ~9k of practice kissing/college au magical realism here my guys #dorian #dariax

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black-metal-bard · 2 years ago

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@isolationstreet I accidentally reblogged the ask game to my main, so I screenshotted your ask to post it on this blog lol

Thank you so much for asking 🥺💕 You came for my throat with your choice of questions

First, here’s a picture I drew of my party and a bunch of important NPCs so you can put names to faces.

Now I’m putting the answers under a cut, because this got REALLY long

2: Before they met their party, what was their main goal?

To be honest, Meliora’s primary goal was to see as much of the vastness of the world as she possibly could—learn all the stories she could learn—meet some interesting people and perhaps make a few stories of their own. In her travels, she often helped the restless dead gain the closure they needed to properly move on(and grant closure to their friends and families by serving as a medium, given she’s a Spirit Bard), but as worthwhile as she found that, her only real purpose was to have a pretty good time lol

Actually, the biggest reason she joined the party was because she had a feeling that Yevelda(the party’s Barbarian) would have a story worth telling someday, and she wanted to be there to experience it first hand.

15: Do they trust their party? Why or why not?

This one is complicated, and depends largely on what point in the campaign one asks. Generally speaking, Mel “trusts” people by default(she trusts people to be themselves—she generally avoids being in a position where she feels threatened—though, she doesn’t exactly have a great sense of self-preservation due to her complicated relationship with Death, so it actually does take a lot for her to feel THREATENED).

At the beginning of the campaign, she had a default level of trust in the party, even if she SHOULDN’T have (Balasar, our Cleric, had previously had his Paladin powers revoked long before the campaign for having killed very VERY many innocent Tiefling civilians—Mel is able to hear their screams on him even still, but by the time she meets him he has been atoning for years, and she’s interested in seeing what happens with him)

Mel is (unknowingly)essentially a Demi-Demon who’s Sphere is “Love for the Undeserving”, so she’s willing to extend a lot of perhaps unwise trust.

Now, toward the end of where we’ve played to so far, the only party member(not including NPCs) who Mel trusts is Yevelda. When Balasar impulsively killed Cassie—our mentor’s niece(and in doing so caused his own undoing) Mel believed that it was on purpose, so she’s very hurt believing their entire relationship had been a lie and that perhaps if she hadn’t been so willing to give him a chance Cassie would be alive(Mel was also able to tell he was a half-dragon, not a dragonborn like he said. Her half-dragon “Cousins” lie about what they are to avoid prejudice, so Mel never pushed the issue with Balasar because she felt it wasn’t her business—now, she wonders just how many other lies he fed her. In truth though, Balasar did believe he was a Dragonborn; he suffers from amnesia, and the people who found him thought he was a Dragonborn due to his wings having been ripped off before they found him. It’s a very big misunderstanding, but of course, it makes Mel regret trusting him.)

She hated Laucian(Warlock) ever since he called Trevor(my favorite NPC) “Worthless” during a moment where he actually opened his heart to us. Laucian later tried to schmooze up to Trevor in hopes of becoming a vampire(it did NOT work) and that made Mel decide then and there that Laucian was a slimy weasel who didn’t care for anything but his own power.

A bit later, she discovered that Insouciance(Dream Druid) was holding their mentor, Blake’s, soul prisoner inside of himself; so she could no longer trust him. Blake had done so much for the party(and is kind of like a father figure—Mel is particularly close to Blake’s family because their culture is very similar to her own), it was unthinkable to Meliora that Insouciance would hurt Blake like that.

Mel didn’t really get to know Anec Su(Cleric), as they didn’t have a lot of time together before this chapter of the campaign ended and Mel left Earth behind. Mel however, wasn’t as quick to trust her as she normally is, since Anec Su came through a portal with Marcus(now 22, having been 8 when he first left us—only ten days ago in our time, so it was weird for us that he came back a grown man telling us that he’s spent most of the last 14 years of HIS life in The Worst Timeline trying to find a way to bring Cassie back to life—she was like a big sister/caretaker to him) but given that Anec Su was FROM that Dark Timeline, AND she radiated a horribly familiar energy, Mel never quite warmed up to her. (Anec Su was a cleric of Sibuna, the Balance God that Balasar and his evil Dracolich father merged to become—she had different personalities in the day and the night—Night Anec Su hated Tieflings and Fiends in general due to her world being overrun with demons, and Day Anec Su hated the undead—Mel being a Necromancer who surrounds herself with vampiric loved ones, neither side of Anec Su was fond of her.

This left Yevelda as the only Party Member Mel could still trust by the end—and now she’s dead. (That said, though she trusts Yevelda implicitly, their relationship became somewhat strained when Mel sided with Blake’s family when they attacked Balasar for killing Cassie. Yevelda and Balasar were a bounty hunting duo before Mel and Insouciance joined the party, so she took great offense to one of her own being attacked, and she was upset that Mel—Balasar’s Lover—sided with Blake’s family. So while Mel trusted Yevelda, Yevelda became unsure of where she stood, since Mel made it clear that her loyalties weren’t necessarily with the party.)

27: How do they mourn?

I LOVE this question. As a Spirit Bard and Necromancer, Mel’s mourning process is incredibly unconventional—and before she came to Earth, she honestly never did any mourning. Since Mel’s powers allow her to interact with ghosts(and she developed that ability as a child) the dead were never GONE to her—nothing lost, nothing to mourn. Consensual Necromancy is actually a huge aspect of the commune she grew up in, as they hold an annual festival where the ghosts of all their departed rise from their graves to join the festivities.

For much of her life, when OTHERS were in mourning, she was often able to provide closure by acting as a medium to give them a real goodbye with their loved ones.

Things changed when the party came to Earth, and Meliora learned of the “Final Death” that the vampires of Earth experience(due to their tattered souls not having enough substance to leave a ghost behind in death). Having lived over twenty five years without the full force of death actually touching her, it hit her like a fucking freight train the first time she was forced to mourn like everyone else. She was unable to let go—pouring over her magical study in a desperate bid to recover what had been lost. She’s gone full Mad Scientist about it—refusing to accept that Cassie is actually GONE—and it actually looks like she might be right.

When she receives news of Yevelda’s death, however, she’s devastated. Yevelda comes from a culture where they have a heavy emphasis on their afterlife, and when her half-brother’s half-brother died the family rejected Mel’s offer to give them a last goodbye—so Mel respects Yevelda too much to disturb her afterlife. There is no bringing her back because she would not WANT to come back.

Meliora lives with deep regret that she opted not to return to Earth, feeling that she should have been at Yevelda’s side—maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, maybe she’d be dead too, but now she’ll never know.

That regret is what drives Meliora to become the mentor figure(NPC in my part of the campaign) to a new batch of young adventurers. She doesn’t want what happened to her friends and to Earth to ever happen again.

64: Do they value Mercy or Justice more?

Mel believes there is no real Justice without Mercy. Merciless Justice is just perpetuating a violent cycle in her eyes—even if the Mercy is only Death as opposed to eternal torture. Mel has no qualms about killing—but she’s never felt any need to “justify” it. Her relationship with death before coming to Earth left her VERY disconnected from the idea of Killing, since death has no tangible finality to her.

Once she comes to Earth and learns of final death, she would very much rather reach reconciliation than truly destroy a person.

That said, before she understood the concept of Final Death, she DID murder a weaker Vampire(Mel is a serial killer on Earth—she gets vengeance for the ghosts of murder victims so they can finally pass on. It isn’t about “Justice”, it’s about Mercy for the Ghosts trapped on Earth). Though she killed that Vampire to achieve closure for his victim, she’s haunted by the knowledge she now has that she utterly removed the man from existence.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #THANK YOU FOR ASKING #ask game #Meliora OC

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saphirered · 4 years ago

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Hi! I love your pieces for Caleb. They’re all so sweet and heartwarming. Would you be interested in writing about the M9 individually in a relationship with a Druid reader? If that’s too much at once, just Caleb please? Thanks and I hope you’re having a good day :)

I hope you enjoy this one and thanks for the request ☺️!

Caleb Widogast

Your natural magic caught his eye from the very first time you used it. Caleb’s intrigued by what he may not 100% understand and he may have used his own desire to pursuit knowledge to mask his interests in you because to get a better understanding of your abilities requires getting to know you. Countless questions, conversations into the early morning hours to the point where you agreed to show him whenever you had the free time and could afford to use your spells and abilities without repercussion in a possible enemy encounter.

Every time you find yourself in your preferred environment he can’t keep his eyes off you. The peace and calmness radiating from you made even Caleb feel at ease, almost forgetting about the possible dangers lurking in the shadows. He sticks close to your side bathing in the comfort you bring him. He may not be as comfortable with pda but he can’t help holding your hand when he’s sure no one’s looking.

When you’re alone he’s much more comfortable spending time in your arms (or take you in his) to the point where you wake up together with loud knocking at your door signing you may have slept in a little bit too long for some of the Nein’s comfort.

It takes Caleb some getting used but a couple months into your relationship he’ll initiate holding your hand, wrapping an arm around you or even kiss you in public much to the surprise of the rest of the Nein. They wonder what you’d done to their wizard to get him to do such a 180 but you only gave him time and space to find what he’s comfortable with and what he isn’t or isn’t yet in some cases. Like the seasons things can change and once spring comes again the flowers bloom once more. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for winter to fade.

Beauregard Lionett

Beau wasn’t much into your ‘treehugger shit’ (her words) at first and may have had some strong opinions about some of your customs but she’s also a quick study and you’re hot so what was she gonna do? Not ogle you while you work your magic literally and figuratively showing off that muscle build from the harsh life in the wilds you’d lived for so long? You knew she was staring every time but any time you acknowledged it she would deny it or pretend to have a coughing fit.

Beau’s behaviour quickly changed once she had a real talk with you finding out you were anything but a ‘treehugger’. You’re accustomed to the brutality of the wilds and the two of you can definitely relate when it comes to learning things the hard way. Up front nature may seem honest but it is very much deceiving. Your way of reading nature taught you how to read people and you got the pleasure of being so smug about teaching Beau about your ways after she finally settled down. The two of you learned to like each other and the attraction between the two of you became more than just physical.

Despite pretending not to care or be open about her feelings Beau is anything but. Having someone to confide in without judgement or the risk of it being used against her has been a blessing. Whenever you get the chance and find a peaceful spot she always joins you for some meditation.

She’s not afraid taking the lead in your relationship but definitely isn’t opposed to you engaging either. The two of you have a functional dynamic and while you may have your arguments you always work it out in the end because you’re stronger together than you are apart. Besides, she can’t complain when you come in after a fight to heal some of her bruises be they to her body or her ego. Neither of you have any expectations and just take it day by day but you’re together nonetheless and honestly, you could both see this carry on in the future.

Fjord

You’re as comfortable on the ocean as you are on land. This was something very important to Fjord when the two of you became more than just travel companions and friends. While he himself may at this point not necessarily want to return to the oceans soon out of fear of his former patron he would love to return to the port sights and trade routes and he’d love nothing more than bringing you along if you’d let him.

Learning you had quite the arsenal of water based spells was a surprise and may have left him a tiny bit salty at what he had to go through to the point he is now for a fraction of that but he quickly got over it after you eased his mind. For how confident and charismatic he may be he can be quite awkward and shy when it comes to anything to do with romantic affections, especially engaging in them but luckily you aren’t and you are more than happy to push him into the deep with his consent of course.

While he prefers to stay somewhat by your side and may jokingly say so he can protect you like the valiant paladin he is but in all honesty you both know he really just feels safer with you close by and you’ve saved his ass on more than one occasion, a fact you won’t let him forget and if he’s deemed you’ve had your fill he’ll just trow you over his shoulder and walk away with you. You may pretend to be grumpy or upset but your facade drops quickly and doesn’t fool him but a quick kiss ‘remedies’ your ‘mood’ quickly.

At this point he’s grown so accustomed to you being somewhere near he sleeps much easier when you’re there. He may at one semi-drunken night have told you he’s sure you keep the nightmares at bay. Fjord would do almost anything for you even if that means a dreaded shopping trip. As long as he’s with you he actually enjoys it because it means he gets to spend more time with you. Though if he had to pick a favourite it would be any time the two of you had a moment to yourself on the ship just watching the waves and the clouds, his arms wrapped around you and head leaning on your shoulder.

Veth

Ever the kleptomaniac she’d stolen many personal possessions of you over time but only to admire them. Veth always returned them to you in the end but she simply couldn’t help but feel the itch to have a small collection of your things to herself. Though from the moment she had you she no longer really needed the material anymore because you are more than enough; you are her treasure. Though that doesn’t prevent her from stealing from others.

You’re her partner in crime and she loves that about you. You have her back at all times and she has yours. Besides, what’s better than summoning literal lightning to make your grand escape from the chasing guards or a carefully created slab of ice in the middle of a street.

When she came clean about her story you reassured her many times you wouldn’t feel any different because at heart she’s still the same and you love her for who she is.

You love helping her with her ‘little side projects’ and while you may not be an expert tinkerer or alchemist you’re pretty nifty when it comes to the natural base elements and are happy to provide a flame to heat things up, ice to cool things down or a gust of wind or two to get rid of the nasty chemical smells and dusts. You’re the perfect team and she loves calling you her ‘lovely assistant’ whenever you’re working on something together.

Jester Lavorre

Jester fell in love with you the moment you used your druidcraft to grow some vines and trip up some grumpy man who was rather rude to her. You have a knack for mischief yourself and the two of you make quite the team. While you may not be completely onboard when it comes to her deity the two of you had a mutual understanding; Jester’s best interest and you’d work together to make the world just a little more mischievous playing non-harmful pranks to lighten spirits.

You’ve been a rock in the tiefling’s chaotic life and keep her grounded when she needs it. You listen to her worries and she to yours and the two of you have a mutual understanding and trust. Sure Jester may have proven in the past she’s not the best at keeping certain secrets, yours she’ll take to her grave.

Jester loves braiding your hair, simply combing through it whenever she can or twisting a strand around her finger whenever you’re even remotely within close range of her. You listen to her and engage in conversation whenever she’s read a new novel and even let her read them to you. She’s very much a hopeless romantic but it’s cute. Your visage takes up many pages of her sketchbook and no one is allowed to mess with those pages. Not even the Traveler.

When you were introduced to Jester’s mom you were nervous knowing the woman’s reputation and all that Jester had told you about her. You couldn’t help feel nervous and wonder if you were up to standards but Marion welcomed you with open arms only after making you vow to protect her little sapphire with your life. You proved that was exactly your intend but Jester did scold her mom for that saying it’s only fair she does the same for you as you love each other.

Caduceus Clay

To say your relationship (more like lack thereof) is ‘unconventional’ is an understatement by most standards. You’re not lovers as neither of you are interested in the romantic nor physical aspects of a relation. Though you both do love watching from the sidelines as the relations of others evolve. You’d say the two of you have more of a partnership, like the best of friends and never would it become anything beyond that and you’re both happy with that out come.

You had always been connected to nature and Caduceus couldn’t help but see aspects of the Wildmother in you. He finds comfort in your presence and familiarity whenever you’re around. Especially in more rural areas, it’s like you’re the living breathing personification of nature. You give him a sense of home and you can say that feeling is mutual.

The two of you are often found preparing food or tea sharing an affinity and love for the subject. Though you’re a much more versatile when it comes to your actual knowledge on the subject of nature and its diversity opposed to him having been confided to one environment for most of his life.

From the moment you were introduced to his family they had already absorbed you up into their family. You may not be a Clay by blood but you certainly are one in spirit. His parents refer to you as their child and his siblings have taken to calling you their sibling. You’ve been their long lost Clay and with the blessing of the Wildmother you truly were accepted as one.

Yasha Nydoorin

You bonded over your mutual love for flowers. Yasha had a past she’d rather not talk about and you weren’t one to pry. Every time you notice she’s feeling down and conflicted you’re never afraid to conjure up a little bouquet of flowers to gift her, the gesture always putting a smile on her face.

At first Yasha may seem very distant and maybe even cold but she’s very much the opposite once you get to know her. She has a hard time trusting people but over time she opens up to you and you couldn’t be more grateful and honoured she did.

It’s always been undeniable there’s a chemistry between the two of you but neither of you felt it the right time to admit to your feelings until you were quite literally locked in a room together. You had some good talks and came to the conclusion it could be a now or never and both of you would much rather take every second you could get than regret having missed even a single one. You’re very comfortable expressing your feelings as you’re both very in touch with them but only recently have the terms of endearment and physical affection become a public display.

You’re there for each other no matter what and issues or arguments are quickly resolved if you have any as you both know where you stand and in the end your love for each other is much stronger than some petty disagreement.

Mollymauk Tealeaf

Molly’s always been a mystery for many and a mystery he may remain but somehow you saw right through his act and that definitely earned his attention. He’s a very physical person and wears his heart on his sleeve. You were never opposed to him wrapping an arm around you or kissing your temple whenever you did something nice for him. That’s always just been Molly but it’s the little things you notice that gave away there may just be more than friendly feelings.

Something that both excites and frustrates him before and in your relationship is your ability to get him all flustered. Sure he can do the same to you and he enjoys it every time he does but when you use it against him he’s not opposed to pulling out the big guns. Innuendos, sappy pda and terms of endearment often lead to full on make out sessions to the point where you’re told to get a room which you happily do.

You’ve messed with plenty of people but your favourite has to be where he pretended to be a priest of the Raven Queen and you used your druidcraft to decay blooming flowers and bring them back to life and used a little gust cantrip to blow his hair and cloak dramatically in the wind. Sure once the facade was revealed you had to leave town quickly but you giggled for weeks and even now the mere thought sends you into laughing fits.

Traveling the world is one thing. Molly doesn’t know about his past and you’ve left yours far behind. Your home is with each other and you’ll follow each other until the very end.

#critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #fjord x reader #mollymauk x reader #critrole x reader #caduceus x reader #caleb widogast x reader #jester x reader #yasha x reader #beauregard x reader

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apothecarinomicon · 3 years ago

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Spring week 4, part 2

We found the guy staggering down the creek. We heard him before we saw him—he was wading through knee-deep water, half hunched over and groaning in pain. As he got closer, I was able to make out that he wasn’t human but crocodilian, and dressed for fishing. His pants had torn away below the knees, and I could make out bright green vines with vermillion buds snaking up his legs. He was bleeding where they burrowed into his hide. He looked up at us with glassy eyes and weakly called for help, reaching out with both hands.

Automatically I moved to support him but Calder held me back. He told me he recognized the vines as marshbloom, a particularly nasty plant native to Blastfire Bog. An opportunistic parasite, it latched onto any skin that came into contact with it and fed on its host, growing until they were entirely overtaken and drained of their minerals. Once the marshbloom had fed all it could, the buds would open and spread their spores to find new hosts.

This guy already looked to have been wandering for a couple of days; we didn’t have much time—probably only about another 24 hours. I told Calder to watch after him and make sure he didn’t wander off. Since Calder didn’t technically have skin, we agreed he might be able to physically restrain the afflicted man as a last resort. Meanwhile, I raced back to the cottage to scour my predecessor’s notes.

I found that her overall knowledge of the bog and its flora were spotty at best, but she did have an entry on the marshbloom. Her notes said that it should be treated like any other virulent parasite, but with extra focus on healing the skin. With the entry wounds closed, she noted, the portions of the plant inside the host’s body would be unable to photosynthesize and would simply die, and the portions outside would lose the necessary minerals and fall away.

With a little more research, I knew what I had to get. I dumped out the remaining breadcrumbs from my pack, had Ailean hop up on my shoulder, and set out for Hero’s Hollow.

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I told the guards at the entrance that I was foraging and expected to be inside for less than an hour. Then I headed in, map in hand, to find some liquid fire.

It’s not quite lava, this substance (lava is molten rock and this is more akin to superheated magic), but it is quite hot. You need special gloves to handle it. It won’t burn you, but it will certainly feel as if it had. It’s great for clearing parasites if you can get it down—like a flash fire fever. I found it fairly easily, flowing right out of the wall (turns out Hero’s Hollow has a lot of natural deposits), and collected it with little issue. It was as I was headed back out, however, that I heard heavy, clanking footsteps sprinting towards me accompanied by a “what ho!”

I turned and looked to find a suit of armor approaching me fast. The visor was flipped up, showing that the helmet was clearly empty. “I, the Baron, challenge you to a duel, brigand!” The voice sounded more like a jester’s than a knight’s—or a baron’s, for that matter. I backed away and tried to tell this Baron that I really didn’t have the time (or the equipment or the skill) for a fight, but as I said so my back bumped up against the wall. The suit of armor ignored what I’d said, unsheathed its sword (the thin kind with a point, rather than the kind with two sharp sides), took on a cartoonish stance, and cried “en garde!”

I stayed very still for a good long while, and so did the armor. Every few seconds it shouted something like “you shan’t best me, scoundrel!” or “your scourge ends here!” Its accent was all rolled ‘r’s and rapidly fluctuating pitch. After about three minutes of this I finally went to try and just walk away, and the suit of armor immediately lunged forward and skewered my thigh.

I cried out, more out of shock than anything. It was a relatively shallow wound (I wrote “skewered” but it was more like “scraped”), but the sudden movement and prick of pain surprised me. The Baron, for its part, seemed delighted. It immediately turned and began to skip away, occasionally clicking its heels in the air and crying “tee-ha! Tee-hee! I, the Baron, have bested thee!” It disappeared around a bend in the corridor, but I could still hear it for a long while after as I bandaged my wound.

What a blighting nuisance. I supposed though, as I limped out of the dungeon, that it could easily have been a lot worse.

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I headed back to Glimmerwood Grove next, to look for wild roses. The hip seeds promote skin health, and I thought they theoretically should be fairly abundant. But, as is my luck, they proved to be frustratingly elusive. I was already pretty annoyed when I ran into Kendre.

Kendre was a satyr, and (as they volunteered immediately upon seeing me) a druid who lived in the forest. Their arms were wiry, the rest of their human torso obscured by what appeared to be a grass-stained burlap sack with arm and neck holes cut out. The fur on their goat legs matched their russet hair. They wore complex jewelry, with earrings and necklaces and adornments to their curled horns all connected by small chains to form one large piece.

I asked how long they’d been living in Glimmerwood and they said just about their entire adult life. They mentioned a shack deep in the heart of the grove where they lived and gardened and kept to themselves. They said they didn’t normally forage this close to town but they were looking for something elusive.

I asked them if they had seen wild roses around and they thought for a moment before saying that roses had been an unusually rare sight this year. They apologized, and offered instead the location of a different plant: the coffee cap. Though unrelated to the bean (it’s actually a mushroom), it does contain about the same amount of caffeine and releases it into the body quicker when consumed. When added to a potion, its only real effect is to sharpen the patient’s senses—not useful for the task at hand. Still, I thanked them and followed their directions to find some—it’s always better to have more and more varied reagents on hand, just in case.

Kendre was the second denizen of Glimmerwood Grove I’d met who seemed to have no connection to the human society in Greenmoor or High Rannoc at large. As I plucked a mushroom and put it in my bag, I wondered if there were any more.

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I didn’t have to wonder for long. After retrieving the coffee cap I headed back towards the path. I took a right that should have led me straight back onto it, but instead I found myself in a beautiful (if dilapidated) courtyard. I must have been caught in some kind of dimensional fold, as I surely would have noticed the high, ornate walls that now surrounded me had they been present before.

The walls themselves were ornate but clearly weathered, dotted with tall thin windows and covered with hanging moss and climbing vines. The floor was made of smooth bricks that must have once been an intense shade of lapis or ultramarine, but that had faded to a (still gorgeous) azure. They were cut and laid in a pattern that was symmetrical but irregular. It took a good bit of staring for me to realize it depicted the phases of the moon, running from right to left across the space’s center. At the corners of the courtyard were raised plant beds that may have once been carefully maintained, but now grew wild. Each had a great tree at the center. Three of them had a least one side that had cracked or buckled, allowing dirt to spill out and their tree’s great roots to spread less impeded. The fourth one, the one in the far left corner, held a smaller tree, mostly obscured by—to my surprise and delight—wild rose bushes!

I began to hurry towards them before the sound of a clearing throat stopped me. I had completely overlooked what was clearly meant to be the courtyard’s central feature: along the far wall was a great, ornate throne. It gleamed golden in the light, its high back intricately molded with dozens of humanoid figures in myriad combinations and contexts—probably recounting the plot of some long-forgotten myth. Seated on the throne, still regal and imposing despite being dwarfed by it, was a man. As I approached him I realized he was much taller than me, or for that matter any human. His skin was extremely pale, his form rake thin, his hair a nearly-white blond. He was dressed in a garb unfamiliar to me, though the dense ornamental fur of his cloak and the rich purple of his tunic and pants communicated his status anyway. He regarded me cooly with orange eyes as I took in the sight. Finally, I noticed his long, pointed ears and it clicked: this prince was an elf.

Belatedly I dropped to one knee and bowed my head. I hoped that was the correct gesture of respect for elven royalty; it had been many years since I took politesse classes in primary school, and I’d never had much use for what I learned from them before.

He chuckled and told me to rise. His voice, though a fairly high tenor, had a commanding sense of depth. He told me it had been far too long since he’d had a visitor, and I should feel welcome to stay as long as I like. I asked for his name, and he raised an eyebrow before telling me I could not have it, but that I could refer to him as His Majesty, the Crown Prince of Sovereign Go’ed-Wigg. I quickly apologized for my careless wording, and told him he could call me ‘F.’ Given the Crown Prince’s care with his own name I figured care of my own was in order. I decided to let it be ambiguous whether this was an initial, a random pseudonymous letter, or if I had chosen “Eff” as a name.

I asked the Crown Prince (as I decided to think of him because that full title was simply too much) if I might have one of his roses, so that I could heal a patient. He thought for a moment then said I could on two conditions: I had to give him a gift in return, and I had to listen to a story. I told him that my patient’s time was limited, but that so long as the story was of a reasonable length (I believe I specified no more than fifteen minutes), and so long as I myself got to choose my gift to him I would be happy to agree to those terms. His expression was unreadable enough that I couldn’t determine whether I’d wiggled my way out of some trick or not, but he conceded my conditions.

As the gift, I gave him the coffee cap I’d just obtained, and explained its uses. He told me he had heard of coffee caps before, but seemed satisfied with the gift anyway. He said with my limitation we wouldn’t have time for the full story, but he’d tell me the first part anyway. I can’t recount the Crown Prince’s exact wording—he spoke for a long time—but I’ll summarize as best I can.

Once (he told me), there were three queens. A queen of spades, who ruled over those things on the earth, a queen of diamonds, who ruled over those things below it, and a queen of clubs, who ruled over those things above. The queen of spades and diamonds neither one had a king, but each had one knight. The queen of clubs had no knight, though she did have a king—but he was perpetually absent.

The realm of the queen of spades was verdant and teeming with life, both plant and animal. The queen of clubs’ domain was bright and open and free, always fresh and always changing. The queen of diamonds, on the other hand, ruled a territory rich with minerals, precious metals, and gems, which all things that lived would eventually join as they decomposed and returned to their base materials.

The queen of diamonds, though, was uncaring of these gifts. She surveyed her realm and saw rot, slimy worms and scuttling insects, and tons and tons of dirt piled so much upon itself that there was barely room for plants or animals at all. She looked over the queendom of spades and the queendom of clubs, and all the light and life and variety and air they had, and she grew jealous. She resolved to take the other queens’ territories for herself.

The queen of diamonds knew that going to war immediately would be foolish. Her two rivals (the queen of spades especially) had dozens of subjects in fighting shape, and she had next to none. So, she worked on expanding her population. She promoted immigration, emphasizing the riches to be found in her domain. With her (previously unmentioned) magical powers, she engineered those denizens she already had over the course of generations into stronger, smarter, better fighters. She was raising an army.

What the queen of diamonds didn’t know was that her knight and the knight of spades were in love. They kept their affair hidden from their respective queens for obvious reasons, but met in secret regularly. Wishing to limit the chance that they might have to meet in battle personally, the knight of diamonds told the knight of spades what the queen was doing.

The knight of spades took this information to his own queen, who thankfully didn’t probe too deeply into how he’d learned it. Instead, she immediately set about raising an army of her own, and passed the information on to the queen of clubs personally.

The queen of clubs, then, faced a rather pressing issue: like the queen of diamonds, she did not have enough subjects in fighting shape to raise an army. Unlike her counterpart, however, she did not have several generations’ notice with which to rectify that weakness—nor did she even have a knight of her own.

So, after obtaining permission from her new ally, she searched far and wide in the domain of the queen of spades to find a champion, one who could inspire their peers to fight their hardest, with the knowledge to select the generals and lieutenants and foot soldiers who would be able to defend her queendom.

And find one she did. The champion was such an effective leader, so adept at rallying people to follow her with true deep-seated conviction for the cause, that she would come to be known as the queen of hearts.

It was at this point that the Crown Prince stopped and gestured to the rose bush. I realized that I’d become so thoroughly engrossed in his story that I’d lost track of time, and I was thankful I’d thought to set a time limit. He sensed this too, and as I went to pluck a rose hip he asked if I was enjoying the story. I asked him in turn where he’d learned it. He said that he was the only one in the world who knew it. I asked if he meant he’d made it up, and he didn’t respond.

Instead, he said I’d have to come back later to hear more of it. I told him I didn’t even know how I’d gotten here in the first place, much less how I’d return, but he insisted that I’d find my way. As I left the courtyard, he turned his attention back to the mushroom I’d given him, turning it over and over in his hands.

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I was just about set to head back to Calder’s stream when I realized something all of a sudden: I couldn’t touch my patient, which meant I wouldn’t be able to force him to swallow the potion—he’d have to do it voluntarily, without spitting it out or spilling any. Liquid fire, one of my major ingredients, was notoriously both very hot and very spicy, making it difficult to stomach. I would need something to cover the taste. I remembered that I had the candy rock back at the cottage, but I was honestly closer to Moonbreaker Mountain. So, I decided to just run over and find some on my own.

I took a path I hadn’t been on before. About halfway up the mountain, I came across Mòrag McKinney, knelt at a shrine. It took her a long time to notice me, but when she did she smiled and bade me sit down next to her. She told me this was a shrine to Cernunnos, the antlered god of nature, hunters, druidry, fertility, and warriors. She said those going on journeys often placed offerings at it hoping for his favor. I asked if she was going on a journey and she said no, she’d just started coming here recently. Something about it called her.

She traced little circles in the dirt with her finger as she told me about Cernunnos, his ability to call animals to him, how wild-growing plants were considered his bounty. I had heard of Cernunnos before, even if I hadn’t studied him closely, but I let her speak. When she was finished, I apologized and told her I was on a deadline. I asked her where I might find the candy rocks. She seemed disappointed to see me go, but directed me a little ways up the path. I hurried off and found a large cluster easily. The rocks (crystals, really) were extremely brittle—I could break off a good-sized chunk with my hand. Once I’d done so, I hurried back to Calder’s river.

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Here is how I made the potion:

First, I crushed the rose hip seeds with my travel mortar and pestle.

Then, I collected some water (Calder was kind enough to let me borrow a bit of his)

Then, I combined it with the seed powder, liquid fire, and candy rock.

Finally, I shook it until it was all combined.

I decided to call the potion Bog’s Bane—a fitting enough name, as it ended up looking like orange mud. My crocodilian patient was staring vaguely off into the distance, so I gave the potion to Calder so he could help get it down. Once he’d finished it, the patient gasped and his eyes unclouded. Already the visible vines crawling up his legs were withering, their yellow buds falling off. I told him he ought to go see Dr. Ardor-Knox in town, and to tell them that he was seriously drained of vitamins and likely anemic. I didn’t know if the doctor had the requisite knowledge of crocodilian physiology to treat him, but I figured sending patients their way might help smooth things over with them. The crocodilian was still a bit out of it but seemed to understand well enough. He paid me for the potion and stumbled off in the direction of Greenmoor.

When he was gone, I turned to Calder to apologize that my work had cut our picnic short. He said to think nothing of it—the man would have stumbled into his creek anyway, so it was good that someone who knew how to treat him was present when he did. Nevertheless, I asked if we could have a do-over soon, and he said he’d like that.

It was far too late by that point for anything further to happen (though if it’s not wishful thinking there was certainly some tension), so I resigned myself to trudging back home. Now that I’ve recounted the day's events, I’m going straight to bed. Here’s hoping that tomorrow isn’t quite so hectic.

⇦●〇●⇨

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hayleysstark · 5 years ago

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Words: 2329 Warnings: Swearing Summary: If Merlin wasn't such a colossal idiot, Arthur wouldn't even believe it. The greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth, the king of the druids and the last dragonlord and the master of life and death and the magnificent, all-powerful warlock Emrys, has messed up with his magic, and gotten himself stuck in Arthur's body. And he's got Arthur stuck in his. But Merlin is a colossal idiot.So Arthur believes it.

Read on AO3.

Arthur thought he had seen the worst of it when an entire camp of druids dropped down on bended knee, heads bowed and hands clasped, and called Merlin Emrys and my lord and the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth.

He thought he had seen the worst of it when the quiet, pretty girl wrapped in an old, tattered purple dress crawled out from the silver depths of a magical lake, and told him she was Merlin's wife, except Merlin has never even so much as said her name, because he would probably actually die if he ever had to tell the truth about anything, ever, in his entire life.

Arthur thought he had seen the worst of it when Merlin called up a dragon. When Merlin turned out to be the last dragonlord. When he crashed to the ground, all pale and limp and shaky, in a fit of magical exhaustion. When he turned himself into a girl. When he split himself into nine entire Merlins. When he called up a whole other Merlin from an alternate dimension, and this whole other Merlin turned out to be an absolute lunatic. The little bastard tried to murder Arthur no less than thirteen times because he wanted "justice for sorcerers" or some rubbish like that, before the real Merlin finally got him under control and pushed him back into his world.

(Arthur feels desperately sorry for the Other Arthur in Evil Merlin's dimension.)

Well.

Look.

The point is. This is the point. This is the point right here.

The point is, Arthur thought he had already seen the worst of it, because obviously, it simply can't get worse than Girl Merlin, or Nine Merlins, or Evil Merlin.

But.

That's the thing.

It can.

This is worse than Girl Merlin and Nine Merlins and Evil Merlin, it's so much worse than all of that, and Arthur thinks he would take all of that again before he would take this even once.

"Merlin," he says, and he sounds so wrong, so awkward and off-kilter and not him, and it burns the insides of his ears to hear it, "you have ten minutes to figure this out, and put us right, or I'm tossing you in the pigpen!"

Merlin blinks up at him—and God, this is so weird, it is so weird to see the way his eyes open and shut, the way his mouth opens and shuts, the way his hair falls over his brow, the way his fingers curl and uncurl, clench and unclench, the way his throat jerks when he talks—

"Well," Merlin says, simply, "I already spend all day, every day, with the biggest boar of them all."

Arthur scowls. "It's not funny, Merlin!"

"It wasn't a joke," Merlin says flatly.

"I can't look like this!" Arthur jabs a finger in his own chest. (Is it his own chest? Can he call it that? Can he call it his own chest right now?) "I can't be seen like this, Merlin, look at me! For God's sake! Look at me!" He sweeps a hand down to show off his new and entirely awful body. Except it's not even his body. "I'm you!"

If Merlin wasn't such a colossal idiot, Arthur wouldn't even believe it--the greatest sorcerer ever to walk the earth, the king of the druids and the last dragonlord and the master of life and death and the magnificent, all-powerful warlock Emrys, has messed up with his magic, and gotten himself stuck in Arthur's body.

And he's got Arthur stuck in his.

But.

Merlin is a colossal idiot.

So Arthur believes it.

Merlin scowls. Is that really the way Arthur looks when he's mad? That crease in his brow? That little vein in his neck? "Yes, Sire," Merlin says, acidly, "I can see this is absolutely humiliating for you—"

Arthur shuts him out. He's got bigger things on his mind right now. Like—

"Your ears," he runs his hands down the sides of his head with a little moan. Is this the way Merlin feels? Like he's got dragon wings up there? "I feel like one of Cook's brass pots. With the really big handles. Is that the way you feel? Do you feel like one of Cook's brass pots all the time? Is that why you're so grumpy?"

Merlin glares up from his spellbook. "There's nothing wrong with my ears!"

"There's everything wrong with your ears!" But Arthur takes his hands off his head all the same—it's only going to make him feel worse to think about it, and it's better to not think about it if he's going to be stuck with big ears and an ugly scarf and—

—and—

Oh.

Oh, no.

Arthur rips off Merlin's rough, ratty blue shirt with the ripped-up hem—he can't believe it didn't hit him before, but this is, obviously, the absolute worst thing about being Merlin, and oh, God, it's even more awful than he feared!

"You're so bony!"

"Arthur!" Merlin goes absolutely bright pink. "Put my shirt back on!"

"I—I can see your ribcage! I—I can feel your bones," he presses down on Merlin's narrow, scrawny side, "under your skin! You have no muscle! You look like a girl!"

"Put my shirt back on!" Merlin says again. He's turned all the way red now. "Stop showing me off like that!"

"Showing you off?" Arthur almost laughs. He cannot be serious, can he? "You don't have anything to show off! You're skin and bone!" If only he wasn't stuck with the skin and bone right now. God. He misses his muscles.

"Well, I'm hardly singing from the castle rooftops!" Merlin says, sharply, his cheeks still very red. "I have to look like you!"

Arthur snaps his head up to stare at Merlin. Or does he stare at himself? "What are you on about?" He shakes his head. "You've obviously got the better end of the deal! You get to be me!"

Merlin lets out a very unkind snort. "Get to be you? I feel like a hippopotamus!"

Arthur reels back. A hippopotamus?! "What?!"

"I feel like I'm carrying the Round Table on my arms!" Merlin winces and rolls his—Arthur's?—shoulders. "I'm so heavy!"

Oh. Arthur actually does laugh now. "Yes, that's called strength and muscle, Merlin. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to be familiar with it, but—"

"Look," Merlin says, with a distinct air of utter desperation, "just put my shirt back on, please, and let me focus. I'm never going to find the right spell if you keep whining about this."

"I'm not whining," Arthur huffs, because he's not, kings don't whine, thank you very much, even when kings have absolutely every right in all of Albion to whine. But he does put Merlin's shirt back on—he would be pretty embarrassed of his body, too, if that was all he had to show for himself—and plops down in the nearest chair.

God, it's so strange to look over and see himself in the same way he's seen Merlin a hundred thousand times before—all tucked up on the bottommost stair, spellbook open on his knees, hunched over the dusty old tome with his shoulders up (like a humpbacked old witch, Arthur said, once, and he had bright green hair for a full week before Merlin finally turned him back, honestly, the idiot could be such a girl sometimes—)

"I've got it!" Merlin looks up with a bright grin—even with Arthur's face, he still looks tremendously goofy—and jabs a finger at the page. "Here, it says—oh, it needs a potion, and—um—"

All the color drains from Merlin's face, and he hastily hunches back over the book, almost desperately, and so near his nose nearly touches the thick paper.

"Oh, no."

"What?" Arthur springs from his seat, and rushes over to look at the book for himself, but he already knows he can't read a word of it. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The—um—" Merlin swallows, hard, and licks his lips, "—the potion needs to steep."

Arthur frowns. Is that all?

"For nine hours."

"What?!"

"The potion itself doesn't look very difficult," Merlin says, thoughtfully, and hunches over the book again. Like a humpbacked old witch.

"Nine hours!" Arthur says numbly. He can't be Merlin for nine hours! He can't! He has so much to do!

"I think we've actually got all the herbs we need in the cupboards," Merlin lifts his head, and looks hopefully 'round Gaius' cluttered, sunlit chambers. "I'm sure I can toss this together before we—"

"Nine hours!"

"Yes, Arthur," Merlin says, and he's got the nerve to sound impatient about it, too. "Nine hours. I thought I already told you that."

"No, no," Arthur shakes his head, so hard Merlin's dark hair tumbles down in his eyes, and he has to reach up and brush it back, "you don't understand, Merlin, I can't be you for nine hours! I don't have nine hours! I have a council meeting in fifteen minutes!"

Merlin finally snaps his stupid mouth shut, but his eyes go wide and round in his—Arthur's—face. "Oh," he says, very feebly. "That's bad."

"And I have three new knights to name in two hours before I have to get down to the grounds for training, and oh, God, Merlin, how am I supposed to spar with my men when I'm skinny as a broomstick?"

"I spar with you all the time," Merlin says. He's gone a bit pink in the cheeks again. "And I'm like that," he waves a hand at Arthur, "all the time."

Arthur snorts. "You do not 'spar' with me, Merlin. You go down with one hit, right off, and you lay in the grass, moaning and whimpering and—"

"You hit too hard!"

"That's the point! I'm supposed to hit too hard, and you're supposed to hit back! You're supposed to pretend I'm an enemy!"

"Yeah, well, it's not so simple for some of us, Arthur, because if I pretended you were an enemy, you would be dead—"

"All right, look," Arthur cuts him off, "we're not going to sort this out if we stand here and quibble about it, so let's get on with it. Go ahead and make the potion, we can leave it to steep in here, no one ever messes with Gaius' things." No one in Camelot has the nerve to mess with Gaius' things. Not even Gwaine. "We can go to the council meeting and explain everything there."

Merlin blinks blankly back at him. "Explain?"

Arthur raises his brows. What's so hard to believe about that? "Yes, Merlin, we're going to explain. We're going to tell the court you mucked up with your magic, again, and it's made me look like you, and it's made you look like me—"

"Um," Merlin says. "No."

Arthur steps back. "No?" His brows lift even higher. "I'm the King, Merlin, you can't tell me—"

"No, Arthur," Merlin says. "Do you want to get yourself tossed in the dungeon? Because that would be the perfect way to get yourself tossed in the dungeon. And burned at the stake at sunrise."

"What?" Honestly, can Merlin even hear himself right now? "They would not throw me in the dungeon! I'm the King!" He stands up a little straighter and throws his shoulders back, but it feels pathetic when he's so scrawny. No wonder Merlin slouches so much.

"Can you prove it?"

"What?" Arthur blinks. "Don't be ridiculous, Merlin, I don't need to prove it, I'm obviously the King, you know I'm the—"

"Yes," Merlin says, firmly, "but can you prove it?"

Arthur reaches, on blind reflex, for his sword, his sigil, his ring, all the things with the Pendragon crest, the Camelot crest, splashed upon them, but—oh—it's all on Merlin now, isn't it, Merlin has his sword and his sigil and his ring and—

—and—

"All they're going to see," Merlin says, "is a servant out to steal the throne."

Arthur tries to scoff. It doesn't come out right. "That's ridiculous," he says, but it's not, and he knows it's not. "No one in the kingdom is more loyal to me than you. No one would ever think you're trying to steal—"

Merlin just looks at him.

Arthur sputters out. He really, really hates it when Merlin's right. It should be illegal for Merlin to be right. He should make that an official law. When he's him again, of course.

(He should also make it an official law that no one is ever allowed to suspect Merlin of treason.)

"All right," he says, finally, "so, what are we supposed to do, then? Just go about our day like everything is normal? Pretend to be each other?" He looks Merlin up and down. "I really don't think you can pull it off. Even when you look like me."

"Shouldn't be hard," Merlin lifts his shoulders in a little shrug. "Walk 'round with my nose in the air, pretend I'm better than everybody, pretend I have literally never seen a woman in my life when Gwen walks into the room—"

"Do you want a day in the stocks? Because you are very close to getting a day in the—"

"You can't put me in the stocks," Merlin waves a hand. "I'm you. If anything, I could put you in the—"

Merlin stops dead. He breaks off, right in the middle, with his hand still up, his blond brow still wrinkled, and he stares, blankly, down at Gaius' overcrowded worktable like he has just glimpsed the very secrets of the universe.

Arthur frowns. He edges a bit nearer. "Merlin?"

"I could put you in the stocks," Merlin whispers, in a voice of absolute and unbridled wonder.

"What?!" No, Arthur does not screech, thank you very much! "No, you can't! Stop talking crazy, Merlin, I'm the King!"

Merlin smiles brilliantly back at him. "Can you prove that?"

#merlin #bbc merlin #emrys' spellbook

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justalittlebluetiefling · 4 years ago

Note

Absolutely adore your takes on Jester, and wanted to get your opinion— Jester has been questioning the Traveler a lot recently to different responses, but her convo this week with Fjord stuck out. Objectively it seemed like Fjord said all the right things (I don’t want you getting hurt etc) but Jester seemed to be putting up walls anyway—the whole dynamic between her questioning and reassurance is fascinating— does she want them looking out for her? reassurance? im curious as to your perception

You come to me, a known Fjorester shipper? No no no no I’m kidding I’m kidding I love this question, even not as a shipper. I’ve wanted to talk about this, but I know I’m pretty biased when it comes to their interactions. I think most of this can be interpreted under either brotp or otp guidelines, though!

Thanks so much, anon.

Do you guys even come here for long rambling answers? I’m so sorry. Below the cut, because I decided to pull exactly two screenshots from the conversation and it’s like 1700 words. Also, I swear I get around to answering your actual question lol. Maybe? I don’t know if I actually answered it. I just love Jester a lot.

So, first, I’m going to say something I know I wrote yesterday, but it bears repeating going into this. Jester is not stupid. She’s really silly, so it’s easy to get into the mindset that she’s “dumb”, but she’s not. And this girl has a 20 Wisdom. She’s insightful af. That’s part of what makes her so dangerous as a Trickery Cleric. She knows exactly what prank she can play on you to promote the most chaos.

Anyway. My point with that? Jester knew why she was asking. She knew what his answer would be because it’s something she’s been thinking about since the reveal that the Traveler isn’t actually a god. Well, maybe she didn’t know what his answer would be. Maybe the right thing to say is that she was afraid of what his answer would be. And having Fjord say things like this out loud when she has been trying to find a way to maintain her faith in the Traveler is terrifying.

Exhibit A:

This is like... literally 5 seconds into her starting to ask Fjord about this. I mostly want you to look at her hand and the way she was gripping her chair. (Yeah, I know that’s Laura, but she’s a really good actress, so she’s Jester right now.) She did that throughout the entire conversation. I just wanted to point out that thing about her hands. It really stuck out to me in the moment and it still sticks out to me now. She is nervous.

So... okay. I think you’re right. Fjord did say the right things in this conversation, because he stayed honest. He didn’t shy away from the point. But the really important thing is that Jester initiated it. He’s been worried about this for a long time, but he never pulled her aside to say, “hey, I’m worried” because I think he may have assumed he was projecting. Fjord was being used by Uk’otoa. Maybe he was reading too much into this. Because, when all is said and done, Fjord trusts Jester. He trusts her judgment. If Jester had come straight out during this conversation and said, “No, you’re wrong, he’s not using me,” Fjord would have nodded, said “Okay, cool, let’s do this,” and they would have moved on. The only way I feel like I know that’s the case is because when they were in Vokodo’s lair, he fucking gave up the Star Razor.

Yeah, yeah, he assumes giving it up is temporary (let’s hope it really is), but before he did it, he looks to Jester. He asks her if she’s sure that the Traveler is coming. “Jester, you’re confident that the Traveler will want to come and meet Vokodo? ... Well, then, I don’t mind handing this over.” He’s so confident in Jester’s judgment that he hands over his fucking sword.

And so, what I’m about to say next could be interpreted as shipper eyes, I guess, but I really don’t mean it that way. It’s something I love about their dynamic in general and it is part of why I ship them. But I adore their friendship regardless, because Fjord is the one person in the group that I’ve noticed Jester testing with her vulnerability. And by testing, I mean she’s testing him to see if she can trust him with it. That’s a weird thing to say. I hope it makes sense.

My opinion on this conversation has shifted after watching it like 30 times. When I first watched it, I also interpreted it as Jester slowly getting more closed off through the conversation. But I changed my mind while I was writing this thanks to this screenshot from the end of the conversation:

Laura is an expert RPer. She puts her entire body into it. So, she’s still gripping the chair, but her body language hasn’t closed off from him at all. She’s turned to him. Her shoulders are a little low, because she’s sad, but they’re also open. They’re actually mirroring each other here and maybe that’s because they’re irl marrieds, but I don’t know. And it’s impossible to capture in a screenshot, but she gave him this little sad smile right before this when she thanked him. I really think she appreciated him telling her the truth about his opinion. I’m not sure what she’s going to do with it though.

Jester is scared and she hasn’t stopped being scared for a while. There’s a lot of things for her to be scared about. I think she was looking for a second opinion and I think there is more than one reason she had this conversation with Fjord instead of anyone else. One is the whole one-sided lowkey rivalry she’s feeling with Caduceus right now. She doesn’t want to go to him while she’s questioning her faith, because in her mind, he’s already a better healer than her, so if he has a better relationship with his god, too, than what does she even have? Another is that I think that she really wants to be able to trust someone who isn’t the Traveler with her feelings. And I think she does notice Fjord’s actions and the way he’s been trying to back her up lately. Like Travis said, Jester’s been there for Fjord every step of the way and now he’s trying to return the favor. I think she could use a blatant reminder that it’s what he’s doing, but I really think she sees how he’s been worried about her, worried about her mom, worried about making sure she had a chance to talk to the Gentleman. Even if she doesn’t know why he’s doing these things, she knows he’s doing them.

I also don’t know if she was actually looking for reassurance here. The sad thing is, she expressed her doubts and then as soon as Fjord started to express his own, she started to defend the Traveler again. God, this conversation was so interesting.

Right, but didn’t you also say the Traveler’s not a god either? Well, no, I know.... Right. He’s not. Right. Is that a problem?

Okay, so I’m not sure Jester even heard Fjord ask if that was a problem. And this is when Jester starts to ‘defend’ the Traveler by saying that he’s still really powerful and stuff. And that sort of answered Fjord’s questions about whether or not it’s a problem.

Overall: The Traveler not being a god is a problem for Jester.

When she’s closing herself off as this conversation goes on, I don’t think it’s closing herself off to Fjord. Ugh I said this yesterday I’m sorry it’s repetitive. It’s that she’s grappling with the fact that this is a problem for her and she doesn’t want it to be. She’s already afraid that the Traveler is using her and that maybe he’s not telling her the whole truth. Her saying all this to Fjord is the first time she’s come close to voicing any of those fears to someone else. I think that a part of her was hoping that Fjord would say she was being silly and that of course the Traveler isn’t just a druid. Which is something I think some of the other party members might say just to try to make her feel better. But she doesn’t necessarily want to feel better right now. She wants to know where to go from here.

The thing is, she values Fjord’s opinion. So much. It matters to her that he agrees with her biggest fears. And it hurts. It’s not Fjord that’s hurting her though. It’s that she’s trying to figure out if she can continue to latch onto these old dreams from childhood. It’s the way she says why would he do that when Fjord says he’s worried the Traveler is telling her something opposite of what he’s having her do. Like... she values Fjord and the Traveler in two totally different ways. The Traveler was her only friend growing up, right? But Fjord is her first real-world friend that she made on her own. They met and agreed to help each other out and over time, she’s grown to care about him a great deal. And vice versa. Her relationship with Fjord, friendship or not, is a huge deal.

So I guess... this conversation was a huge deal to me as a Jester stan, because she doesn’t talk to anyone about her problems. The fact that she finally opened up to someone and voiced her fears out loud is huge and it makes sense to me that she would talk to Fjord about it. Because... he definitely said the right things in this conversation, but he does not have a track record of always saying the right things to the Nein lol. I think she was looking for honesty. I think she was hoping that she’s reading into this too much, but knows that she isn’t. And she knows that Uk’otoa was using Fjord, so he is a good person to talk to, because maybe he can recognize the warning signs.

Sorry this was so long. I could honestly go on about this conversation way longer I think. I hope that this made any kind of sense in the end. And thank you for asking! This is helping me a lot, because I was in that weird spiral about Jester and the Traveler yesterday and typing stuff out like this is helping me figure out where I sit with it.

#critical role #the mighty nein #fjorester #fjord #jester lavorre #the traveler #anonymous #erin answers things #dude i'm sorry this got so long #i swear it has a point #i just loved that conversation #if you can believe it #this was me holding back #god the fjord/jester/artagan dynamic is MY THING #i'm all about this okay #i. love. angst.#cr spoilers

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

Text

Ducktales Reviews: The Battle for Castle McDuck!

How to sum up how I feel about this episode....

Yeah that’ll do it. This wasn’t a BAD episode. It flowed nicely, had two great new additions to the cast.. but after weeks of really good episodes, warts and all.. this one was just.. okay. Part of the problem isn’t the episode’s fault as I went in expecting the answers to scrooge’s immortality, the answers to hortense we didn’t get last week, and you know donald and della actually getting to interact with their grandparents. I got.. pretty much none of that, though I did get some answer as to how Hortense lived long enough to have donald. But we’ll get to that. Point is part of the episodes baggage is on setting my expectations too high, the same happened with “Astro B.O.Y.D.” earlier this season and in hindsight, that one is really excellent even if it wasn’t the fenton episode I was hoping for, it’s still really damn good. THis one... even if it’s not what I was hoping ofr, while not bad it’s still pretty medicore. Let’s get into why shall we? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We open at Castle McDuck, where Webby’s narrating for people who didn’t see the last episode set here and aren’t obsessive about watching the show like you or I. And also because this time she’s not so starstruck that she can’t actually speak or function, so she can actually get all the lore she wants in. The family is here because while the Druid stones seem to be working, the mists protecting the castle, and keeping it out of lockstep with reality every 5 years, have suddenly vanished. Naturally Fergus blames Scrooge for that. I’m mixed on this version of Fergus. While i’m fine with chanigng things up from life and times, having him live and having him resent scrooge on some level, it worked better last time as there was emotional weight and a reason behind it: Scrooge and him didn’t get along becasue Fergus missed his boy and resented that his sucess lost him a son and made him cold and bitter like Fergus himself. It fit both men to just be too damn proud to talk it out. So while Fergus being a bit crotchety still isn’t ENITRELY out of character him still being a dick to his son for no real reason and given no new one for being an asshole to him just annoys me. The character last time was three dimensional, understandable and likeable. This one is just a bitter old man constantly yelling at his son and doting on his daughter. More on that bit in a bit.

Downy meanwhile is just as lovely as last time: Since she lived long enough to see her grand children this time, I love seeing her as a wonderful doting grandmother to her great grandbabies. She’s wonderful and I’m thrilled to see her again. It does however bring up one of this episodes biggest issues: Donald and Della are absent and this time for no good reason. Last time, it was fair enough to exclude Donald as there was no real space for him in the narrative, and he likely , even if he loved grandma and grandpa, didn’t want to have to explain his estrangment with scrooge to them and break his poor gram-gram’s heart. That’s fair. This time though? Their not there because.. frank didn’t want to use them. That’s.. literally it. They could’ve fit fine into the family fued narrative epseically since we’ve seen them sibling squabble, and unlike other adventures they’ve been absent, where they clearly just wanted scrooge to have time with the kids, or in the case of rumble for ragnarok scrooge had valid reason for not using them, this time? There’s no good excuse. Della would want to see her grandparents, Donald would get drug along. They only appear every 5 years. WHy the hell wouldn’t they be here?! I get trying to have character ballance but we’ve had several episodes this season of just scrooge and the kids. We DIDN’T need it this time and the lack of characters dosen’t really change anything. It instead wastes plots like getting to see what Donald and Della’s relationships with their grandparents is like, or their aunt, or finding out how their mother died or at least fucking MENTIONING hortense outside of one word and a photo. YOu think the fact their sister is dead would be important to Scrooge and Matilda but it just.. never comes up. Their niece and nephew never come up and my patince comes up short. I’m fine with character ballance but i’m not fine with wasting a golden opportunity for character interactions we haven’t gotten. I get we just had two weeks of donald and della I do, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating or nonsensical. Having characters appear two episodes in a row dosen’t magically make them irrelevant or we’d be seeing less of Huey or Louie or Dewey and outside of last week, we REALLY haven’t. If they can show up once an episode why can’t their parents?

Point is a mystery’s afoot, and so is THE PHANTOM BLOT.. to no one’s suprise as he was both in the episode’s description and frankly magic being drained is his mo, this time using a portable generator. Webby dosen’t catch on to this.. but I let it slide as while she’s the only one to have really met and fought the blot.. she’s also busy with mc duck family stuff and frankly while a missing mystery is here, given how deep the mcduck rouge’s gallery goes, it’s not a stretch to say it could be any one of them. Especially Glomgold, who while not magic is willing to pay for rediculous shit why would “dispersing scrooge’s family castle’s mists to bug his parents” be any diffrent. Or possibly replace them as their son because he’s kind of nuts and entirely made of stupid and that’s why we love him. And Magica has the obvious motives of revenge on scrooge, as this isn’t her first set of dead parents, and a castle full of mystic wonders. It’s plausable to wait and see who it is first instead of just assuming it’s one guy.

And yup there’s a mysterin town:A set of mystical bagpipes of the clan mcduck that can bring life to where there is none. We don’t know if they can raise the dead but they can bring inanimate objects to life so there’s that. But seriously Donald should take them to his parents graves just to be safe. But before we can get to duck necormancy we have to find them so we get... (checks notes) a Louie and Huey team up again where Louie is an abrasive jackass to his brother for planning ahead, despite the fact he’s been proven wrong on that front twice now, and is entirely insufferable and has learned nothing about trying to find a quick and easy way of doing things depsit elearning this lesson 80 times already.

As you can tell I hate this subplot and am getting it out of the way NOW because it’s not good and treads ground we’ve tread THREE TIMES ALREADY. and you did it right the first time, you did it okay if sloppiily with let’s get dangerous. Why this ? Louie learns nothing, Huey learns nothing and it’s not funny.The two just search for the mystery, and Louie is impatient. Though talking with a friend in a ducktales server, i’m in one now and it actually really helps with these, did make me realize that Louie’s character development has stalled like I thought... it’s simply a Marco Diaz situation. Like the third season of star vs the forces of evil, it’s basically a coin flip if your getting a well developed verison of the character that’s been built up over multiple seasons.. or a jackass whose learned nothing and treats other people badly. Their different FLAVORS of jackass but jackass still tastes awful no matter who it is. It’s not as BAD as it was there as while it’s not helpign the character, it’s not actively having him do the worst things possible, but it still makes Louie’s plots a chore to sit through at times as when he’s not well written like with split sword, rumble for ragnarok or tickening, he’s just a 2 dimensional greedy jerkhole and I don’t want to spend time with him. And the other brothers have had times of being written one dimensional, not going to lie, but all I get from Louie in these plots is this:

After almost getting his family killed, after getting scrooge’s fortune overnight with minimal effort and having everything he wanted only to learn, suprise, it takes a lot of work to maintain.. and he still just dosent’ get that the easy way isn’t always the way, and after the trickining and let’s get dangerous hasn’t learned his brother is usually right when he’s being anal retentive. This was fine in the last 2 seasons but too much has happened for him to get away with this shit and not come off as obnoxious. It just drags any episode it’s in down with it. I”ll leave the rest of the review under the cut.

One more subplot before we dig into the main one: The Phantom Blot and his new partner, Pepper! If you don’t remember her it’s fine as she wasn’t named but she was the egghead voiced by Amy Sedaris who showed up for one scene back in the Blot’s first apperance and who frank said they had more plans for. Well we see those plans now as Pepper has been paired with the Blot for this mission as Bradford’s policy for missing mystery missions now is the buddy system. No going solo, despite the Blot really not liking any of this. Which honestly both fits Bradford, as he’s endlessly practical, and is just a good idea: most of his agents are kind of wild cards and have their own agends so forcing them to work together not only gives them better odds with scrooge, but prevents them from working their own angles against FOWLS better instrests. IN this case having the peppy, energetic and talkative pepper go with the closed off and dogmatic blot keeps him from going overboard, as Castle McDuck is basically one large magical nightmare for him to destroy and Blot keeps pepper on task and on stealth since, as we learn now we get to know her, she’s a bit overly excitable and not all that subtle, if not to dewey or della levels. She can stealth when necessary. She’s also DETERMINED to get the blot to bond with her and work with her, and is delighted to work with him, getting the job because.. no one else wanted it becasue the blot scares people and puts them off with his intensity, which he’s shocked about but really shoudln’t be.

IT’s just a nice dynamic, he helps her be a better agent and she helps him realize he can’t do EVERYTHING alone and that blindly destroying all magic in his path, as much as he’d like to isn’t the option, using some runes to track them. Sure pepper makes their presence obvious once or twice, btu she’s also essential to the mission more often than not and by the end, even if they loose, we’ll get to that, Blot has fully accepted his partner. It’s.. honestly heartwarming when you think about it: The blot’s probably closed him off from personal relationships of any kind because A) his family got brutally murdered by the person he’s hutning and B), he has a mission he can never rest in. He likely wanted to work alone because it’s how he rolls nad i’t sonly through seeing someone who genuinely WANTS to be around him and wants his missiong ot succeed that he realizes he dosen’t have to push everyone away and allies are more useful than none. It’s a warped way of thinking but for someone with as much baggage as blotty, it’s progresss and it’s a really sweet story. HOpefully this relationship will go farther.. I mean strange relationships have happened than a dogmatic dog who hates magic and a peppy go getter both working for an obliviously evil businessman.

So onto the main plot: Turns out Scrooge wasn’t the first person Fergus called this episode as we meet the DT17 version of Matilda! Horay! She’s voice by Michelle Gomez who like David Tennant and Catherine Tate before her is a doctor who alumnus.. though this time she’s past my time watching the show. I really gotta get on catching up. She played Missy, the female regneration of the master. Gomez is spectacular in the part here, and while I have no past experince with her I certainly want to see more of her work as she’s a delight. Matilda is Scrooge’s sister. In the comics she was the duitful sister who looked up to her big brother as he left Scotland to make his fortune, sending money and mementio’s back she scrapbooked. She eventually went with Scrooge to america with him... but this didn’t end well as Scrooge took advantage of his sisters as help and when he finally did take them along on an adventure, it was his lowest point, going from an honest buisness man to a cruel robber baron for one moment and left him and his company. She and Hortense TRIED building a bridge with a suprise party.. but by that point while Scrooge had backed away from being a monster, he was still such a dick things blew up. As far as we know he never saw hortense alive again, and he only saw matilda in her old age with the two reconcliing. I’ll get more into ALL of this when I get to those pieces of life and times obviously. Point is she’s a good character. And so is her reboot version.. but the reboot version did catch me off guard as, much like her dad she’s not really much like the sensible sweet woman from the comics. But given DT17 tends to really play fast and loose with previous versions of characters, and it often works out i’m not going to gripe about it: what they did here works. As for what EXACTLY they did here, this version of Matilda is more flighty: not incomptient or lacking in charm, but due to sort of bouncing from one improable venture to the next and staying at her parents between ventures. She’s sort of a female version of Jubal Pomp, an itallian duck comics character who modelded himself after Scrooge, but dosen’t have the common sense or work ethic scrooge does. That’s really matilda here minus the looking up to scrooge part: she dosen’t seem untalented, just a bit footloose. She also likes needling her brother and is unsuprisingly her dad’s faviorite since she’s around more. The two naturally get under each others skin, and we get our main conflict... not just because of their fighting.. but because Webby can’t help but mettle. She’s what makes this plot work: Webby can’t help but try to interfere because she dosen’t get siblings sometimes fight and have long standing resentments, something I relate to, and that stepping in or trying to end it sometimes just makes it worse. Granted sometimes’ it’s necessary, but in this casey Dewey, whose trying to inch her away is right on the money and after the awful plot with these two in SPlit Sword, it’s nice to see Dewey be in the right, but for actually good reason instead of just because the episode says so. Here he’s right that her getting involved will only escalate and her attempt to do so only reveals Matilda kidnapped scrooge’s pet hair clump and died it. She also has something resembling an emu. This only makes things worse and starts to escalate tensions leading to some between both sides, as Fergus takes Matilda’s and Downy takes scrooges. Again REALLY could’ve used the twins. We do get a nice bit where Webby coaxe Dewey, who understandably dosen’t want to help her further spiral into her own issues by helping mend family issues she really isn’t qualified to solve.. because she’s you know... 13. I mean granted Steven Universe did this sort of thing at her age.. but given he eventually repressed his issues so much he had a mental breakdown and turned into a giant angst monster, and only got better with therapy.. maybe get some therapy instead Webby. Just saying. Therapy everyone? Therapy? But yeah she coaxes Dewey with a statdew, and yes she says that exactly. This gets the family breifly united, as Dewey fakes an injury.. but finding out it’s fakkkke combined with Huey and Louie coming in just causes the enitre family to spiral into squabbling and webby to shut down a bit, with Scrooge planning to form his own clan after bickering iwth his parents and sister. Oh and it only gets worse when Pepper accidently brings some statues to life, and they get in on it too while Webby’s convinced the families over and she just wanted a place in it. And even if this isnt’ the BEST episdoe the show’s ever done, i’ll get to why in a second, I do like this. Webby’s nearly LOST this family once, way back at the end of season 1 when no one but beakly thought of her feelings about her best friends and surrogate uncle all leaving her after her other surrogate uncle you know.. said some pretty unforgivable things. She’s trying SO hard to force it to fit, so hard to fix things because she can’t stand them being broken, something I PAINFULLY relate to given my own personal issues with not being able to stand people being upset with me. She just wanted a family and i’ts gone. Of course it isn’t and webby’s sad words coupled with some house crashers get the clan mcduck statues included to kick Blot and Pepper out and get the bagpipes back, while Scrooge points out it’s the good families that can withstand a squabble. So the mystery’’s gotten, Scrooge and Matilda are squareish... and this episodes thankfully over. Happy day! Final Thoughts: This episode is okay. I very clearly have my problems with it.. but it’s a fine half hour of television and funny enough to bounce through it with some good character stuff. It’s just after the last few weeks, and really this whole season.. I expect more. There was no real emotional core besides webby this episode and her issues wer eboiled down to “Families fight but it’s fine”.. which itself is a pretty uncomplicated message when family dyanmics can be complciated messy and painful. My family is thankfully fairly stable, if not without issues because hey no one is, but given other people watching might come from far worse homes where the bickering is far worse and far more toxic.. yeah maybe have some nuance here. And this is from a show that usualy does that WELL: We saw it with Fergus last time before he was hollowed out for this episode and reduced to an angry dick. We’ve seen it with Donald and Scrooge’s estrangment or Donald and Della’s relationship: Family is complicated , messy and even good ones have problems. That should’ve been the message: family can squabble or even have serious issues but they come back together. Instead we just got a bunch of bickering for a cheesy message that dosen’t quite fit with what the series done. It fits for thanksgiving: family , the good kind, can last arugments and is there for you regardless.. and I know my family is. I just feel they could’ve done the message better. Basically the episode was fine... it just wasn’t up to the high standard this season has set even in it��s down turn and is easily the weakest epseically since Matilda really dosen’t feel all that fleshed out even though what we got of her was great. Basically not a BAD episode.. but it could’ve been a great one, and i’m disapointed the series didn’t try harder. NEXT TIME: regular coverage for the year concludes as we go back a few months chronlogically to find out why Santa and Scrooge hate each other. IT’s christmas time ya’ll! Until then if there’s an episode of ducktales or another disney series you’d like me to take a look at, suggest it in the comments or comission it outright for give bucks via my direct messages on here or send an ask for my discord. Until we meet agian, there’s always another rainbow.

#the battle for castle mcduck!#ducktales spoilers #ducktales #scrooge mcduck #matilda mcduck #webby vanderquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #fergus mcduck #downy mcduck #the phantom blot #pepper

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theriverpersonshadow · 4 years ago

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Lamia Drama Part 5

It’s ya boi Oozy. Apparently my brain deeply desires to touch on some potentially uncomfortable subjects today. Warnings for a completely made up medical condition - that is NOT meant to depict anything irl and any similarity to such is completely unintentional on my part - being treated with some seriousness as a chronic condition that does impact Oozy’s life.

Also skirts the line a bit between Corny laziness, general Sansitude, and feelings of guilt and depression. And touch starvation. But thankfully the snake DOES get pet in this and he ends the chapter happy ^u^

The Corny species of lamia belongs to @vex-bittys

< PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT >

Oozy was laying in his hammock, a thing patched together from whatever they make raincoats from, as almost always. He could get down, but then someone would have to deal with the mess. Besides, one of the staff had gotten him a waterproof phone long ago. The hammock was coated in a layer of slime… as was he. As always. Most people found it gross, but he’d been born with it.

Despite what some might think, snakes aren’t slimy… usually. He was a rare exception to that. No one could figure out why, it wasn’t anything wrong with him physically… So far as they could tell his soul just thought he was an amphibian or something. Maybe he should join the Kraits, but they didn’t seem overly fond of his weird magic-mucus either (not that they’d ever say it). Heh. But for real, the best theory anyone had was either that he did have some kind of amphibian magic-gene that wasn’t working right, or that for some reason his soul couldn’t process magic quite right, making a sort of buildup of inert magical sludge. Possibly both. So yeah, he was a slimy boy.

If he showered more often it’d probably be manageable, but then some worker would have to clean up after him on the way to the shower and they’d have to rinse the hammock off too or else there’d be little point in showering in the first place, and if he was taking two or three showers a day, when would anyone else? Plus that’s just a lot of showers. Nah, it’s easier for everyone to just not. Or maybe those are just excuses, but hey, he’s a lazybones, born and bred.

Oozy sits there in a half-daze, only partly awake as his hammock slowly sways. There was a podcast going on in his ears but he was only half-listening. Somehow he’d gotten from DnD advice to doctors? More likely he just hit a button by accident. Regardless of how he got here, her voice is soothing, even if he probably doesn’t need to know much about orthopedics. It’s enough to make him want to nap…

Until footsteps come by. He waits for them to pass, but they don’t. He peaks an eye open to see a girl pacing back and forth, occasionally stealing glances at the nursery. Looks like they’ve got a new volunteer. Well, he should introduce himself then.

“Yo, sup,” Oozy says. He stretches his arms and neck, joints popping, and pushes his upper body up onto the fake-trees holding his hammock up so he can get a better view of her. His nose flicks and he impulsively says, “Ya smell like dirt.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I work in a greenhouse.” Dear lord she was loud. Not upset or yelling or anything, but she could rival a full grown Papython.

“Ah, they bring you in to get us more real plants or something? I don’t know if they can have indoor trees though.”

“Probably not. Most trees aren’t really shade-plants anyways, and even if they were, they can’t grow strong enough without wind.”

“Really? Huh, weird. But I’ll take your word for it,” Oozy says. He removes a little more of himself from the slimy confines of his hammock, draping himself over the tree and leaning his upper body down so he’s closer to her level. “So, why are you here then? Looking to adopt? I think you’ve gone too far then.” There weren’t many to adopt this far back. There wasn’t officially a “permanent residency” ward or anything, and theoretically anyone could get adopted, but let’s face it, they weren’t going to. They were hidden in the back for a reason, you’d have to be looking for a special case to even reach him.

“I heard there’s DnD.”

Oozy blinks a few times, then chuckles, “Well alright then!” Not the answer he expected, but okay. “They advertising it now?”

“I mean, apparently yeah! Though in retrospect, I think you were expected to come with a lamia…” The girl looked down,

Oozy shrugged, “Maybe. They have community events now and then and stuff.” Or maybe they were trying to get some of them out of there. No reason it couldn’t be both.

The girl nodded. “So, uh… I followed someone, they had gold teeth? The DM. Then one of the cobra ones wanted me to leave, and, uh… Should I go?”

Keith had taken her to the nursery, hadn’t he? “Nah, Keith just did something dumb. Whatcha thinking of playing?” He was curious how she was going to be worked in. They pretty well had their bases covered already. Red was the Tank and melee fighter, Trousle was the party face, Nikolai had healing and support covered, Liam was the other party face who really liked fireballs (freaking sorcerers), and… Well, Oozy himself was mostly just there to goof around. He’d made a ranger and had an Giant Owl (maybe not on the list, but Keith was nice enough to give him an upgrade since rangers were kinda bad in 5e) as his animal companion. The “hoo” jokes flew left and right! What could he say, him and his Giant Owl, Hoodini, were birds of a feather.

“I mean, I figured I’d see what you guys already have? Warlocks are one of my favorites – patrons are basically built in lore – but Druids are a mood and Martials can be fun too. Sometimes you just wanna smash stuff with a big hammer, y’know?”

“Mood.” Oozy said. “Well, we could probably use another full martial, but ask Hux, that’s sorta his thing, y’know?”

The girl nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Heh, yeah. Name’s Oozy by the way. Who are you?”

“Alex.”

“Nice to meet ya Alex. I’d shake your hand, but, well…” He held his hands up, shrugging. A drop of slime hit the floor.

“Are you okay by the way? You’re kinda…” She made a vague hand motion, squirming in place.

“Eh, I live with it. Called Oozy for a reason, y’know?” Oozy said.

“… can I touch it? Or you? Both?”

Oozy blinked a few times, surprised. “Uh… sure? If ya want?” He crawled a little further down, looping around the tree to keep himself stable. The girl’s hand reached out and touched his head. It was rather nice, actually. He found himself leaning into it, the gentle strokes feeling warm and tingly despite her hands being cold. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right? His tail relaxes some as he sinks into the feeling, eyes shutting.

…

Well, if she wants to keep petting him, he’s not going to stop her. This feels great. Hopefully she’s not just trying to be nice, but she seems pretty wrapped up in it herself, running her fingers through the layer of goo that had built up and down to the bone below. Oozy was vaguely aware that he was dripping all over the floor (and probably on her shoes, but they were caked in dirt and scuffs anyways), but y’know what, it was someone else’s problem. He started to reach out instinctively, wanting to wrap around her and cuddle, but she drew back.

“Uh… sorry. I don’t really like my clothes getting wet… It’s really uncomfortable.”

Something in him deflated, soul feeling heavy, but he put on a lax smile and nodded, “Eh, don’t worry about it.” Just keep petting him, please…

“It’s alright. Heh, it feels kinda cool, y’know? Maybe not exactly like slime, but, like… It’s fun to play with.” Pause. “That’s a weird thing to say, huh?”

Oozy snorted, “A little, but I ain’t gonna complain.”

��Can I…?” She pointed to his tail.

“Go for it.”

Her fingers stroked down the length of his scales and he shuddered. It didn’t feel bad or sexual or anything, but it’d been a while since anyone had stroked him. Dear lord how did he go so long without this? He wanted nothing more than to wrap around her in a full body cuddle, to just run fingers through her hair and vice versa, to just get any kind of physical contact from someone. He was starving for it. Tears sprung to his eyesockets but he blinked them away before she could see. It was just so nice…

“Thank ya,” he whispered, voice coming out choked.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah… Yeah.” His soul felt a little lighter and he smiled in earnest, “Heh, feels good to get some of this off me.” Maybe he should take a shower today… The floor was a mess anyways after all. But it’s fine, it’s tile. It’d mop up. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I think you feel cool.”

“I mean, I am a reptile.” He snorted at himself, finally just saying fuck it and crawling down to sprawl on the floor like a limp, happy noodle. “I mean, probably.” There was a slight chance he was an amphibian after all.

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celticrune · 3 years ago

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Hey Celtic! For the oc ask meme, how about 2, 8, 15, 22 and 25 for Val, Tanwen, Keiji, Jay, Whisper and Raya? I know I said I'd only ask 4 of your characters but I couldn't choose which four so I guess we're going with 6 of them.

*elmorise.jpg* let's go boys

and just guessing but this one's probably going under a cut, so. expect a readmore if i remember to put one in

2: Their smile Val: Subtle and easy to miss. It's in their eyes more than their mouth, a crinkle and a warmth that comes with just a light quirk of their lips. If you see them smiling widely and openly and with socialite charm, they're lying to someone, be it you or themself.

Tanwen: Bright and wide and earnest. Her happiness and her enthusiasm and her cheer are right there at the surface and her smile shows it all at the drop of a hat.

Keiji: True smiles are rare for this boy. Smirks absolutely, grins always, but a real honest smile? Only for people he trusts, and even then only when he's half-asleep or drunk or otherwise unable to have his guard fully up.

Jay: You're more likely to get an eyeroll than a smile, but they do exist! Sometimes a true, soft smile that manages to light up even his usual scowl, sometimes a crooked grin when he just made a joke so deadpan no one can tell if it's a joke or not and he's enjoying the confusion. Secret: his beard hides his dimples

Whisper: She has an adorable smile, with dimples and all, just don't tell her that or you will get kicked in the shins. She also knows she has very cute dimples and she hates it, so she very stubbornly tries not to smile (but she's terrible at it).

Raya: ........She.... tries.........

8: What they like to eat Val: They have a soft spot for cookies, of most kinds. They have not yet found their favourite.

Tanwen: A good bread. Her dad always baked fresh bread for the family and she has not found anything that compares

Keiji: Junkfood, especially burgers. The junkier the better, and anyone who disagrees doesn't have any taste

Jay: Good hearty winter foods. Stews, thicc soups, some good slow-cooked dishes you can have on the stove for the better part of the day bubbling away

Whisper: Ramen. No, I will not elaborate.

Raya: Liquorice

15: How they react to a brainfreeze Val: :|

Tanwen: Blows on the food that cause it to cool it down in weird backwards instinct

Keiji: Dramatically complains

Jay: :/

Whisper: She's Fine she's Tough she's Cool she can Do This. totally still winces and pouts

Raya: Ever seen gifs of a cat getting brain freeze? Imagine that but a panther

22: What they're like on two hours of sleep Val: They have chugged six espressos and are on their way to a seventh. Remarkably functional, but Do Not Talk To Them.

Tanwen: Barely keeping her eyes open, nodding off whenever she sits down, she's the kinda fool who'd walk into a door cause she was too tired to pay attention. She doesn't do well on little sleep.

Keiji: Hopped up on redbull, talking a mile a minute, full of energy but all over the place. Amusing, but he's not getting anything done.

Jay: He doesn't tend to sleep too well, so he's pretty used to getting by on little sleep. He'll try to catch what catnaps he can, but in the meantime he's good at muscling down and getting on with his day. He'll be a grouch, but not much more than usual

Whisper: She tries. Oh how she tries. She is going to fall asleep in class and accidentally elbow the teacher when he wakes her up.

Raya: Somehow? Fine? There's definitely some magic going on here do not trust it

25: Why you enjoy them Val: Val embodies survival. Overcoming your past and your pain and piecing together a new identity for yourself, one you chose. They went through terrible things and they still struggle but they learned, they are learning, and they're getting better every day. They're happy, and they have worked so so hard to earn that happiness.

They're the part of me that wants to be better, and writing them is the feeling that one day I will get there, too. They're also the conviction that such struggles and issues don't make you any less worthy of love, or capable of it.

Tanwen: Tanwen is just so bright. Her DnD campaign finished this week, actually, but I've played her for about five years now and being in her headspace makes me so happy. It's warm and bright and optimistic, no matter how dark things seen. It's loving everything and everyone, and while that isn't always me and I wouldn't want it to be, it's such a positive and lovely headspace to spend time in

Keiji: he's my terrible horny bastard son what else do i need to say. (and he's the trials and tribulations of opening up emotionally, the mortifying ordeal of being known, and the catharsis of being met with only love and acceptance)

Jay: Jay is a rock. He's steady and sturdy and down to earth and chill, and while that also makes him hell to write because he's so unbothered, it's what makes it really nice and chill to be in his headspace. He unapologetically himself, spends his time just vibing, and I love him.

Also, as I have recently come to realise, he is my transmasc gender envy and and me exploring how masculinity might fit and feel

Whisper: She's an adorable awkward potato. She's full teen cringiness and I love her for it. You go be the hero honey, you go be cool and fall flat on your face, you're doing amazing and you deserve the world

Raya: my druid self-projection no, but also yes. Raya is the thunderstorm and the sunshower and she's force of a strong wind, and she's all that in fun to write magic. Her character is definitely not as developed as some of my regulars, and that makes her harder to actually write, but I love her relationship with nature and her powers

#val #tanwen #keiji #jay #whisper #raya #ocs #asks #there we go!#i actually got a lil emotional from the last one #gosh #that was v sweet #these were fun ty for asking darling

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noonymoon · 4 years ago

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You Have Been Lied To #4

hello again!

in the first few posts we have talked about

how the public narrative is carefully constructed by a global elite

how our entire perception of our past and how we came to be was shaped throughout history

how the myths and stories about a great flood and giants throughout all the cultures are real

how there are children going missing in massive amounts

and why they are going missing 1 & 2

while i am not at all hurt on a personal level by the fact that many people start to unfollow me - i really don't care for status, fame, pleasure, distraction, an online-reputation, or ANYTHING at all anymore -, i am really saddened that only a fragment of people care for the Truth. the only thing i can do is keep going and pray that people will wake up in time. many others have begun to wake up (a lot of people woke up because of the Qanon movement but i am not a Qanon).

in this post today, i'm going to shed light on what Nazi-Germany actually was. i personally didn't dig deep into my own research because i am entirely overloaded with all kinds of researches and Hitler is not really my favourite topic in the world. but i've read a great book that pulls from many well-researched sources, plus i am using my common sense. when you can count 2+2 together and it makes sense, you know that ist is the Truth. the 2+2 we are going to look at today is the following:

- we've learned that the mainstream media and the entertainment media serves mainly two agendas: 1. to keep the truth away from us, and 2. to shape our perception of WHAT is possible, what is fantasy, what is truth and what is just too crazy to be real. right?

so, according to this parameter, let me ask you the question: why do you think there are SO MANY movies and works about the Nazis being deep into occult knowledge and into mystical artifacts? Captain America: Civil War, Hellboy, Wolfenstein, the Indiana Jones series, Iron Sky, The Keep, and many others are part of this concealing of Truth. the reason why Hollywood wants us to believe that this thought is too fantastical and too absurd to be real is that the Nazis truly had religious interest in the occult.

here is a brief overview about the topic

there are quotes by Hitler himself which make one think what the heck did he mean by that...? (looking at it from a public narrative perspective ofc)

according to what i've learned Hitler was a huge follower of the teachings of Madam Helena Blavatsky - who founded Theosophy, basically the doctrine where the New Age movement gets pretty much all its ideas, and on which all the secret societies are founded: the Knights Templar, Golden Dawn, Freemasons, Rosicrucians, Ordo Templi Orientis, Illuminati and many more.

this image alone speaks volumes once you realize what’s being communicated.

the Lemurians? the Atlanteans? THE ARYANS? after breaking the veil of deception that is around all of us, it couldn't be more obvious that Hitler was deep in the occult knowledge that was brought forth by Theosophy in 1875. it simply does not make sense at all that Hitlers only goal was to create a race that "has blonde hair and blue eyes" (though it plays a tiny role in this as well). Hitler truly believed with all his rotten heart that there is a race that is superior to regular humans. this religious belief burned in him and his Nazis like an insane fire and they went on a lot of expeditions around the world to find more occult knowledge and also a very specific thing which i am not mentioning yet.

there are a ton of actual real photos of Hitler and his Nazis in Tibet visiting the monks, and also Hitler in the Antarctica (which is a whole rabbit hole for itself but that one is really crazy *lol*) and whatever you've heard in the public why Hitler went to these places, it is not the Truth.

when i was still in this witchy community on here, i often saw posts that basically told Nazis to f*ck off and stop using Runes. back then i had no concept of why any Nazi would use the nordic runes except maybe the superficial thought of "Germans are germanics are nordics" or whatever *lol*, the Truth is, in Hitlers quest to unlock as much as occult knowledge as possible, he also visited Iceland and studied the Nordic Edda. [ Hitlers goddaughter was also named Edda, just throwing this in here ] - Guido von List (an Austrian living in Germany) was apparently the first one to assign mystical meanings to the nordic runes and founding an occult Religion named Wotanism, he died in 1919.

another thing i want to point out is the Swastika. you probably know that the Swastika is pretty much an ancient symbol and appears in ALL kinds of cultures of this world. there is a reason for this that goes deep beyond any regular comprehension, but the public narrative is that Hitler simply stole this symbol and made it a Nazi-Germany symbol, but the truth goes much, much, much deeper than that.

of course we can pretend like all of these connections are just "coincidences" and of course we can cling to the public narrative that is telling us lies, lies, lies. i dearly encourage everyone who wants to know the Truth about this world to start researching. in all of the previous posts i've mentioned and linked really good starting points. you don't have to be a Christian or believe in Jesus in order to find out about the world we live in (though, after discovering all of the pieces and puzzling them together, the most logical thought for me was to literally RUN towards Jesus and i know this is different for everybody but i am praying for you to find Him). i know a lot of this sounds crazy and flat-out foil-hat-kind of way. but always remember that this image of the Truth is on purpose. people who dig into the Truth get out-cast, people who discover the Truth and want to wake other people up are being labelled as wrong and crazy, get silenced, get threatened, get assassinated.

to say it in Hitlers very words: "Truth is not what is; Truth is what people believe it to be" .... sadly, that is very true in our society today. everyone just picks and chooses what they want to believe and there is no concept anymore of ultimate Truth because we are being lied to from each and every side. and i know this sounds radical and Noony how can you say something like this, and so on and so forth, i really GET IT. i understand that it sounds radical, i understand that it isn't what people WANT to hear. you can condemn me all that you want, i really do not care anymore, this is way too important than setting my own comfort above it. Truth is truth, and lies are lies.

one of my favourite scriptures in the Bible is "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." --- John 8:32 ... it could NOT be MORE accurate. it's actually mindblowing how relevant and true these thousand year old words are, especially today. i've never felt so light and free and happy and sane EVER before in my entire life. i've quit my psychopharmacy drugs a while ago (i've been taking prescription drugs for more than 10 years) and my life is looking just bright and wonderful right now, and this even though i almost died in April, still recovering from it. i am more courageous, more filled with love, more motivated, more friendly, more calm, my household is doing just fine, everything is clean and neat, i am doing my chores, my plants are thriving, and even though i am literally ALONE 24/7 (real life AND online) i never ever feel lonely. and i am living with wide open eyes and even though this world is HORRIBLE, i am peaceful now. the Truth really DOES make you free. i've stopped with all kinds of toxic things, from sugar to drugs, you name it. i don't crave neither stimulation nor attention anymore. it's incredible. i can only recommend it. what God and his prophets also foretold over 2000 years ago that it would be EXACTLY like this. "evil will be considered good, and good will be considered evil" - people who speak the truth and do the good deeds will be demonized by the masses.

doing witchcraft and magic and believing in the New Age NEVER felt evil because i was never harming anyone. and i am pretty sure that 99,5% of you people on here feel the exact same way. we are being conditioned by the entertainment media to believe that magic is wonderful, innocent and curious. Disney is doing a GREAT job easing little children into the concepts of magic and fantasy. and i know most of all people never harm anyone with their magic. and God didn't forbid us to do magic because he doesn't want us to have fun or to have a spiritual life, or because he thinks we don't deserve any of the things we can do for ourselves magically. God will HAPPILY provide each and every need of us. the reason why God forbid his people to practice magic, sorcery, divination and witchcraft is to protect us from being deceived. now, a lot of people will rebel mentally, and that's okay, i was the same way. before you haven't discovered the truth and combined all of the puzzle pieces, it really just doesn't make a lot of sense, is really provoking and sounds bad. i was really wrestling with all this myself. now, i am grateful to the Lord that this wrestling process ended up in me being OPEN to what He has to say, and discovering the Truth instead of rebelling and living a lie any further. Praise God for not giving up on me with my stubbornness.

today, i've listened to an interview with the Illuminati Defector that i've mentioned in an earlier post, who was going to be one of the highest ranks in the Illuminati (Queen Mother of Darkness). her name is Jessie Czebotar and she has made it her mission to bring light to this worldwide matter and help survivors being rescued. please listen to some of her interviews, it’s mind-blowing what she has to say.

honestly, when you realize how EVIL these people are and that they ARE witches and druids and that they USE the occult and witchcraft and magic on an EXTREMELY high and incredible level, the LAST thing you WANT is to continue doing the same thing. like. i am not judging anyone here, truly. because we simply do not know what's going on. but when you suddenly realize that EVIL PEOPLE like Hitler, like the Illuminati and the Freemasons and all of these secret occult societies did and ARE doing the same thing of which WE regular people think it's no big deal and it's okay, you simply wanna run, run, run from it as far as you possibly can. at least this is how i feel about it. i am not forcing anyone to believe me, i am simply encouraging you to at least find out why i am saying all these things to you, and then decide for yourself.

Jesus said that we will know them by their fruits. a good tree can only create good fruit and a bad tree can only create bad fruit. a good tree can not create bad fruit and a bad tree can not create good fruit. it's really quite simple.

God bless the ones that read this with an open mind.

#history of germany #occultism #theosophy #God bless the truth

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